Episode 309 Livestream Recap
{309} Wednesday, June 8, 2022
Wednesday {309}
June 8, 2022
I’m Mister Brownstain *apologies ‘Killers’*
Margaret Rosebud vs Peter Smith & Michael Brown (Mr. Brownstain) & Ryan Wilson – Norton Invoice number 2699481
Deskback.xyz was used.
Refund amount: $389.99 “Accidental” refund amount $10,000
Chase Bank username: judeinthebathroom13
Starting balances: checking $5,789.56 savings $15,763.29 CC $-286.75
Peter: “You done that?”
Margaret: “I done that. I done that.”
Peter: “You need to focus on your computer screen.”
Transferred to Michael Brown, senior supervisor.
Call got disconnected. 14min 40sec
Michael called back.
Call ended while the stream was down. 17min 05sec
Peter called back. Immediately transferred to Michael.
Margaret: “Mr. what was your name? Brownpants?”
Margaret: “Mr. Brownstain?”
Margaret: “Enter your ban-k name.”
Brownstain stopped answering Margaret’s questions. We booped. 30min 48sec
Rinoa cut the remote connection to the VM.
Mr. Brownstain called back.
Margaret: “Make it big.”
Margaret: “You’re misunderstanding me. I don’t want just $100. I want ALL of my money. I want all of my money.”
Margaret: “I understand. Now, send me my $389, please.”
Margaret [overtalking]: “I didn’t even do that. The machine did it on its own. The stupid server did it. I didn’t do that. It put down $10,000. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. The machine’s doing on it, it’s gone Skynet! They’ve activated Skynet! It’s goofy. It’s bonk.”
Margaret: “This wouldn’t have happened if you listened to me.”
Margaret [overtalking]: “No, it was adding a bunch of extra stuff. I was trying to, it was goofy. It was goofy. I didn’t like it. I don’t know what happened. It wasn’t me, though. It had to have been the server that had some faulty code. Some ones and zeros were missing in the code. Someone forgot the OS code or something. I don’t know what happened but it’s gone bananas and it needs to be corrected. I don’t think the transfer was, it was bad code, faulty. Somebody needs to go back to basics on the C++ or something. I don’t know.”
Brownstain: “I am very most tense about this money.”
Margaret: “You need to take that money out of my account right this minute!”
Margaret: “I want to fix this problem right now. I don’t know how it happened. I put the one zero zero point zero zero and it deleted all of it and then it put it all back in there.”
Margaret [overtalking]: “Well, you need to fix these technical difficulties ‘cause now I have a problem of having $10,000 in my account and I don’t want it in there! I put the one zero zero and then Y2K happened and it’s a bug defect from 20 years ago.”
Margaret [overtalking]: “Fix it! Check your matrix. Mr. Brownstain, check your matrix! Get some TP and fix it. Wash that in the sink. That’s right. What a stain. What a stain!”
Margaret: “Mr, Brownstain, this is a stain on my bank right now. I had a perfect record. It was a perfect record and now there’s a stain.”
Margaret: “Mr. Brownstain, you need to clean this mess up!”
Margaret [overthinking]: “It wasn’t even my mistake. I didn’t do this. You need to talk to your employees or something and fix this. Go talk to your server manager or something. I don’t know what you’re doing but you need to stop talking to me right now!”
Margaret: “Fix it!! I don’t want your money! You understand me?!”
Call got disconnected. 1hr 00min 21sec
Mr. Brownstain called back but we didn’t answer.
Ended stream to change settings and then immediately restarted.
Mr. Brownstain called back but we didn’t answer.
Mr. Brownstain called back and we answered.
Margaret: “You want me to go to bank B or bank A?”
Brownstain: “The number B one.”
Margaret: “The number B one. […] I can do that.”
Call got disconnected. 1hr 05min 11sec
Brownstain called back.
Brownstain told Margaret to go to the bank and withdraw cash.
Margaret: “I got my floppers on. I’m ready to leave home. Yes. I’m ready to leave my home. I’ve got my floppers on.”
Margaret: “If suppose if they ask me what? What are they, who, what, WHAT?”
Margaret: “Do you want me to smack you around?”
Call got disconnected. 1hr 11min 12sec
Brownstain called back.
Margaret: “Mr. Brownstain, did you just burp gas out of your mouth?”
Call got disconnected. 1hr 12min 11sec
Brownstain called back.
We got in the blue car to go to the bank to withdraw $9,600 cash.
Margaret: “Who is supposing this ask?”
Margaret: “Who am I asking none of your business to? What do you mean?”
Margaret: “I’m going down to my bank. That’s what I’m doing right now is going down to my bank. But why are you telling me not to talk to the bank teller? Am I gonna hold up cue cards like it’s some kind of person that’s arriving from the airport and I need to drive them to some secure location because they are a VIP client of some important business?”
Margaret: “I’m not in a hurry. I’m just driving there. I don’t drive reckless.”
Margaret: “Do you make a lot of skidmarks, Mr. Brownstain or is this the first time that a mistake like this has happened?”
Brownstain: “It is the very first time that I am facing this problem. It doesn’t happen at all. None of the colleagues at my office have faced this problem. None of them. This is the first time we are seeing this thing.”
Rinoa silently laughed for an entire minute!
Brownstain stopped answering Margaret. We booped. 1hr 26min 23sec
Brownstain called back.
We brought the phone into the bank.
Margaret: “He told me to tell you that I just need to tell you that it’s for my own personal business for withdrawing the money.”
Margaret: “HE TOLD ME TO SAY YES!”
Brownstain: “My name is Michael Brown. Can you pass the phone to Margaret?
Bob: “Why was she referring to you as Mr. Brownstain?”
Brownstain: “That’s me.”
Bob: “You have to understand my point of view here. I’m just trying to make sure she’s protected and taken care of. Here at Chase, we want our [customers] to feel welcome, like they’re part of our family. Almost like a family member that’s kinda distant but you can trust with your money. We make sure that the money stays safely secure into the mattress. We tuck your money into the bed, like you’re a kid of ours. We make sure you’re well-taken care of and we kiss you good night. You know, that kinda thing? We make sure you’re protected. Yeah.”
Brownstain: “It’s your responsibility to do that. Yes. You are doing the formality. What you are told to do, right? That is what you are doing?”
Bob: “You do understand my point of view? I’m obligated to obligate the questions that are obligated. You know what I mean? So, here I am, I’m obligated to know if whether or not you are who you are obligatedly to say who you are obligated to say you are. Yeah. Absolutely. That’s fine. I am legally obligated to pass the phone to her if you say. It’s her phone. Yeah, so I just wanted to let you know. I’ll pass the phone back. I’m Bobligated. If there’s anything else I can help you with, my name is Bob. You can just ask for me here at the Chase Bank in San Francisco, California.”
Bob [overtalking]: “I get it. Let me just tell you a little bit about myself. I’ve been living in the California area for some time now. I recently took up the hobby of surfboarding. As I became more and more familiar with the waves, I decided to invest in a nicer board, which is totally reasonable. You kinda upgrade your equipment as you get better and better with it. The surfing company that I was buying boards from, I became very good friends with the store owner, almost to like a personal relationship. We actually went surfing on the waves together. It was very relaxing any time I bought some wax for my board. But they only take cash. They only take cash at the surfboard. That’s fine. Let me just finish. So, the guys there, they only take cash. I had to withdraw some money, like $3,000 for the board I bought. And it’s got this rad shark on it. It’s really cool. It’s almost like a clear board with a shark on the bottom. So, when you’re surfing, it kinda looks like a shark is following you on the board bottom. It’s really cool. It’s kinda neat ‘cause you look down at the board and you can see the shark. You know what I mean? It’s a little bit expensive but anyway, they only take cash there. But he threw in some free wax for my board, so if I’m just hitting this gnarly, absolutely. I’m just letting you know, there’s supposed to be some gnarly waves.”
Call got disconnected. 1hr 41min 07sec
Brownstain called back
Brownstain: “Why did you pass the phone to that employee?”
Margaret [overtalking]: “He was asking questions I didn’t have the answers to. I was asking you and then you were giving me the answers and he said, ‘Can I talk to that man on the phone,’ and I said, ‘Sure.’ I figured you would want to talk to him. He was a nice boy, Mr. Brownstain. Do you want me to give the phone back to him? I can head back in there and give you the phone. You two seemed like you were having a nice conversation. I think he surfs. He’s got the yellow hair, the bleach blonde hair.”
Melon translation: I think we are made fool.
Margaret: “It’s none his business. It’s none his beeswax.”
Call got disconnected. 1hr 56min 25sec
Brownstain called us back.
We got the cash! $9,600.
Margaret: “Mr. Brownstain? Did you clean up or is it still messy?”
Margaret: “What are you eating?”
Brownstain: “Nothing.”
Margaret: “Oh, it sounds like you’re shoving your pie hole with food.”
We booped. Too much background noise. 2hr 00min 41sec
Brownstain called back.
Margaret: “Is the surprise a plunger? Did you get me a plunger?”
Margaret: “Is it a can of pork and beans?”
Transferred to Ryan Wilson.
Ryan: “Do not play with my mind. OK? I know that you are playing. I know that you are playing with me. So, I want you to login to your bank right now.”
Margaret: “Who’s playing with you?”
Ryan: “I am the guy who is playing with you and I don’t want to play with you. I just want to see your account has worked fine or not.”
Margaret: “That makes no sense. You have no logical place to stand on when you say you’re gonna lose my money that’s in the car. Your money’s in the car. My money’s in the bank. You have no business in my bank account right now.”
Margaret: “You little weasel, you listen to me for a second.”
Margaret: “You’re a bad business hamster.”
Melon translation: Sewer child.
Margaret: “Check the recording, you hamster! Check the recording.”
Margaret: “Mr. Hamster?”
Ryan: “You are talking to Wilson.”
Margaret: “Wilson the hamster. Hamster Wilson.”
Ryan: “He’s not here right now.”
Margaret: “He’s you.”
Ryan: “Yes.”
Melon translation: Damn, man. She’s a pain in my ass.
Margaret: “I’m listening. You tell me what to do, you hamster.”
Ryan: “You are talking to the boss of this company. So, you’re supposed to be polite.”
Margaret: “You’re a hamster.”
Margaret: “I don’t give a flying hamster who you are.”
Ryan started making threats about illness, karma, etc.
Margaret: “Are you making threats to me right now?”
Ryan: “Yes.”
Margaret: “Don’t take my words the wrong way. You’re a hamster, a rodent. Yes, a squeaky little thing. A pest.”
We booped. 2hr 25min 45sec
Ryan called back.
Margaret: “I hung the phone up in your face.”
Margaret showed Ryan what it feels like to have the call hung up in his face again.
We booped. 2hr 26min 14sec
Brownstain called back.
Margaret: “It’s been a shitshow. Absolute shitshow.”
Margaret: “Let’s get this over with. I don’t want to deal with you anymore. I’m done with this. Let’s make this snappy.”
Margaret: “The skidmark is on you.”
Brownstain: “The skidmark is on with me.”
Call got disconnected. 2hr 30min 43sec
Brownstain called back.
Brownstain: “The skidmark is in my undies.”
Brownstain: “Stop, stop. It’s too much.”
We booped on hold. 2hr 38min 18sec
Brownstain called back.
Margaret: “That’s only 3 numbers! You imbicile!”
We sent them a photo of the cash.
Margaret: “You’re clowns. Each and every one of you are clowns. I’m done listening to you. I’m done listening to you. You’re a clown.”
Brownstain wants Margaret to buy a Target gift card.
Margaret: “Yeah, this is gonna get good. What do you want me to do?”
Brownstain: “Do not make love (Laugh).”
Margaret: “It’s llke the chicken quest. It’s the chicken quest here.”
Margaret: “This is the egg quest. I got an egg and I’m gonna go to somebody and they’re like, ‘Oh, I will trade you an egg for a stick.’ And now I have to go talk to this other person on how to acquire a stick. And then the stick becomes something else and then, the next thing you know, you’ve got a tractor and a trailer and you’re just running around town like you’ve gone bonkers here. It’s a neverending quest. You never get the egg delivered or what you need to do. It’s just a small favor, just one small favor. And then it turns into another small favor and another small favor and another and another and another and another and then, next thing you know, you end up in a left-handed plunger in the side of the Target. I don’t understand.”
Brownstain: “You don’t need to be understand because you’re an idiot.”
Margaret: “You get inside a shoebox and shake yourself around. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
Margaret: “Stop calling me your love. I don’t like you.”
Margaret: “Should I put the money in alphabetical order? ”
Margaret: “I don’t have a duck nor tape. […] I have the goose tape. Do you want me to get you the goose tape?”
Brownstain: “I do know that you are smart, more than me.”
Margaret: “Well, this is a fact.”
Margaret was counting out the money when the call got disconnected.
3hr 05min 38sec
We called them back. They booped immediately.
Brownstain called us back.
Margaret: “I don’t know. Take a picture with a finger in your nose.”
Margaret: “Have I done anything to prove I’m not going to send you the money? I’ve been running around like a squirrel.”
Brownstain: “I’m begging on your feet. Please.”
Margaret: “Don’t you beg on my feet. OK? I just cleaned my feet. Don’t you beg on it.”
Margaret: “Don’t you swear on your mom. Stop this nonsense.”
Margaret: “I’ll send you a bible. Yeah, you need it.”
Part of Margaret’s book collection:
-Martha Stewart in the Big House Cooking
-Cooking in the Big House with Martha Stewart
-Martha Stewart Baking Behind The Bars
-Behind the Bars with Martha Stewart
Melon translation: She has box. Tell her to wrap it and put it in the box.
Margaret: “It’s 2022! Who reads the newspaper?”
Margaret: “I’ll give you my favorite mug with the cat face on it. It’s Garfield. Alright. Let’s do that. Let’s put it in the box. How about that? I’ll put some hot air in there as well so you can have that. Some dirty drawers.”
Brownstain says to send the parcel signature required via UPS.
He sent us an address.
We booped. 3hr 29min 24sec
He called back but we didn’t answer.
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