Episode 315 Livestream Recap
{315} Tuesday, June 21, 2022
{Episode 315} Tuesday (Solstice)
June 21, 2022 2 EDT
New merch! New emotes ! Rinoa ate her hair.
How does $6 become $6000? In fake Hindi?
[Stream timestamp 00:28:48]
Jessica Wilson vs Alex & Alan Black – Norton
Refund amount $399.99
“Accidental” refund amount: $6,000
TeamViewer was used.
13 Maple St 34141
Jessicadinobunnyfroglegssupermole@gmail.com
Chase Bank Starting balances: Ckg $7,863.23 Sv $763.29
Password JessicaDino13
Jessica: “Yeah. I was taking a drink. I was taking a drink. Easy.”
Jessica: “I could hear you the first time. There was water in my throat-hole. What do you want me to say?”
Alex said he would transfer our call. We booped in his face. 17min 31sec
Transferred to Alan, senior refund officer
Call disconnected. 19min 51sec
Alan called right back.
Refund will be in two parts: $60 and then $339.99
F7 strikes again! He’s a KNOWER!
Only $6 was entered into the “secure server” but $6,000 was transferred into Jessica’s account.
Alan: “Your game is over or you still want to try to fool me?”
Alan says Jessica’s email account and bank account are fake.
Alan: “Jessica, please come into your sense.”
Jessica: “I didn’t make any mistakes. I put down $6. Sir, do you understand what $6 is? It’s not $6,000! That’s for damn sure!”
Alan: “Should I block your account right now?”
Jessica: “Why am I being involved in this? I don’t know how this happened.”
Alan: “Are you stupid, ma’am?”
Alan says to go to the bank and withdraw $6,000 cash.
Alan: “How can you cancel that? Are you stupid? Once you eat a food, can you take out that food from your mouth?”
Jessica: “I don’t think that analogy applies to food. It just doesn’t. Money’s different. You don’t consume the money.”
Melon translation: She’s a fake. The email is fake and the bank balances don’t add up.
Melon translation: She is wasting your time.
**Thank you so much to the priceless melons who contribute to the translations! Your help is much appreciated!!**
Despite the fact that his coworkers are telling Alan that Jessica is a fake, he continues to run the scam.
Alan says to go to the Apple Store and buy gift cards to get the money back to them.
Jessica: “Could I ask you a question, Alan? Why did you tell me in Hindi that I was a fake and my email was a fake and my bank account was a fake?”
Alan: “I was saying Hindi? What do you mean? Hindi? What is Hindi?”
Jessica: “You were speaking another language. I don’t know why you’re playing stupid.”
Alan: “Another language? What language is Hindi?”
Jessica: “And you don’t know what language you were speaking?”
Alan: “You are very smart and don’t try to be smart with me. OK?”
Alan: “My friend was talking to me in Hindi? Are you out of your mind? In America, how do you think that a person can speak in Hindi?”
Jessica: “My boyfriend is Indian. I don’t know what to say. He speaks it. What can I say? I know some words. Yeah. I pick it up from him.”
Alan bailed and booped.
49min 50sec
Synergy Finance
[01:25:43]
Jessica vs Jeffrey – Synergy Finance (business capital loans)
Jessica: “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I do have a small business. It’s very, very tiny, though. It’s not anything to bark at the moon about.”
Lucifer’s Lemonade Stand in Michigan
Jessica: “Usually, I just sell to the suckers who come down the street. Right? It’s mostly just sugar in that cup.”
Jessica: “We’re not in it for quality. We water down the lemons a lot.”
Jessica: “We started investing in these little lemonade umbrellas. […] It looks fancy. It makes it taste less like water, I suppose. It’s a placebo effect. It’s basically just sugar water. I think a lot of folks come basically for the umbrellas.”
Jessica: “What happened to all the good quality?”
Jeffrey booped. 4min 50sec
++++++++
We tried to wish Dhruv a Happy Birthday.
Dhruv: “Hey, don’t call me. I am playing the game. Don’t call me.”
Dhruv booped without hearing anything Nancy wanted to say.
++++++++++
You may remember Troy from Scammers R Us
[01:40:29]
Jessica vs Troy Waters (Roger Waters, Troy Muppets Waters, Mr. Troll, John Waters with a thin mustache) & Steve Wilson – Continuation of call with Tanya yesterday – Norton
Refund amount $294.75
13 Maple St 34141
407-555-6485
dinojessicabunnyfrogappletoejackbummers2@gmail.com
Chase password Gvillevillain13
Ckg $5,869.23/Sv $13,586,88
Jessica had a party with her cat and her hamster in a ball. Troy might come to the next party.
Jessica amazed Troy with her perfect impression of a cat meow.
Jessica: “While I’m on the bed, I like to bat the yarn around.”
Jessica: “Whatever you’re on, sir, I want it. Are you on the catnip right now? I’m always on the catnip.”
Rinoa: “We’re gonna go as furries. It’s gonna be great.”
Troy likely had a turd water incident.
Troy says someone will call us back in a moment. He booped in our face. 36min 01sec
Steve Wilson, senior banking manager, called us back.
Refund ID # RDPQF482Q4244829
Refund will be in 2 transactions: $130 & 164.75
“Accidental” refund amount $13,000
F7 strikes twice!!
Jessica: “My bad. I think the zero slipped. It was causing a bunch of errors.”
We learned that running your keyboard through the dishwasher is a very effective cleaning technique when there are chips, soda, candy bars, and a sticky bun making the keys, er,,, sticky.
Steve says to withdraw $12,700 from the bank.
Jessica [overtalking]: “Sometimes, I just talk a lot. I don’t know what to say. You just gotta calm me down. Let me know if I’m talking too much ‘cause sometimes, I’m just not aware that I’m doing it. It just kinda comes off and it’s just second-nature. Sometimes, I get on random topics and I just don’t know where it’s going. You know what I mean? Go right ahead. Yeah. Let me know if I’m talking too much. You just gotta bring me back down to earth. You know? Sometimes, I float away.”
Jessica is going to install a chocolate swimming pool with the cash she’s withdrawing from the bank, if the bank teller asks.
Jessica does a cat impression for Steve but it’s a *little bit* different from the one she did for Alan. Steve thinks it sounds more like a goat. He only gives 5/10 whereas Alan got hot under the collar with 10/10. Jessica might be a goat whisperer.
Steve: “Just let the cat doing the job. OK?”
Jessica: “Good at horns and goats, not cats. I gotta write that down.”
Jessica: “Maybe your mom had an adventure and met my dad or whatever. Right?”
Steve: “Yeah, maybe your mom met my dad.”
Jessica: “Possibly. Possibly. So, there’s a chance that you and I are related. But more likely, your mom met my dad. Right?”
Steve: “No, your mom met my dad.”
Jessica: “I don’t know about that. I don’t know about that. That doesn’t add up. My mom wouldn’t do something like that.”
Jessica: “There’s this other YouTuber I watch called Jude in the Barthroom. Their content is exactly their name.” (trufax)
We went into the bank to withdraw the cash. Steve didn’t respond when we came out of the bank. We booped. 1hr 31min 16sec
We called back and asked for Steve Wilson. Transferred to Troy Waters.
Troy put us on hold. Steve came back on the line and told us to keep the money and that there was just a glitch at the bank.
They bailed and booped!! 1hr 35min 34sec
Continuation of Alex and Alan
[03:28:17]
Jessica vs Alex & Alan Black CONT from earlier today – Cancellation Dept
Rinoa identified herself as Nancy but Alan didn’t seem to care that her name had changed from Jessica.
Alan: “Are you putting the money inside the cell phone and then trying to send the picture?”
We have the $6,000 from earlier.
Alan says to get Apple Gift cards.
Jessica: “Why are you so interested in my boyfriend?” Undertones of homophobia from Alan.
Jessica: “Alan, why do you do what you do?”
Alan: “Why I do it? I told you why. A simple reason. Five alphabet: money. M-O-N-E-Y.”
Alan continued to try to get money from Jessica while being very disrespectful at times.
He booped. 1hr 18min 30sec (timer adjusted to account for the time that we didn’t know who they were)
Alan sent a text: “Sorry, but please do not call me again. Sorry for being disrespectful. Please do not call again.”
the return of Mayo
[04:15:55]
Nancy Wheeler vs Amy Watson (Anime Watson / Amy) & Unnamed SSA worker
Amazon – iPhone ear buds & MacBook pro
Nancywheelerbunnyfroglegs13@gmail.com
Refund amount $1,537
Emmy: “Is that a debit card or a credit card?”
Nancy: “It’s a hybrid.”
Transferred to the social administration because there was fraudulent activity on Nancy’s social security number. He booped because Nancy, quite naturally, said, “Yeehaw!” 9min 59sec
We called them back but didn’t know the name of the person we were talking to. Maybe it was “Dick Harder”?
She booped. 12min 19sec
We called back asking for Dr. Dick or Richard.
He booped.
Margaret Fruitloops called them back. Anime answered.
margaretfruitloops13@gmail.com 90210
Used a phone number that was a joke from an old song.
Margaret has an EBT card.
Margaret: “I bank with EBT.”
Margaret: “Snap crackle and pop! What do you mean?”
Anime transferred us to the SSA, Benzamin Alpert. (Benzodrine/ Big Sickle)
Margaret: “I ended up buying an aluminum hammer firewall.”
Margaret has ~$20-25,000 in checking and ~$100,000 in savings.
Transferred to US Marshall, Ryan Robinson (Badge #FD1092)
Case #DC2001463
He said he’d call back from another number.
Ryan booped. 44min 27sec
Then Rinoa realized he didn’t have a real phone number for her and THAT was the number Ryan would be calling. We believe that the number from the song could have been taken out of commission due to it being such a popular old song.
We called the joke number to see what would happen. It appeared to be answered by another scam call center!
Rinoa: “I sent the scammer to a scam call center!”
When the joke number / accidental scammer answered, we asked for ‘Margaret Fruityloops’.
He booped. We called back.
Sam answered. Sam booped.
We called Ryan back at his first number.
He said he will call us back at the correct number. Told him the joke number was Margaret’s son’s phone number.
We booped. 45min 47sec
Ryan called back.
Rinoa with Sherry’s voice: “We’re gonna put a little extra super sauce on that secure line. We’re gonna make that secure line so good, it’s gonna be so secure, it’s gonna be secure with cheese. A secure line, extra-L with cheese and a little mayonnaise on that. Mm-mm, boy. Gotta love that mayonnaise. Smear it all over that secure line. It’s like a powerline with a bunch of mayonnaise on it.”
We can’t send a photo on a landline.
Ryan put us on hold forever. We booped. 52min 57sec
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