Episode 319 – VOD{320} Livestream Recap
{319} Tuesday, July 12, 2022
July 12 2pm Eastern – Tuesday
Episode 319 but VOD says {320}
Disparity means we will skip a VOD going forward {320}
Bear with us (This may forever alter the space-time continuum -BCG)
SpyEye (20 year old threat)
Timestamp 00:25:51
Jessica Wilson vs James & Sam Martin & Unidentified Scammer – Norton
Invoice #SR76392139
James tells Jessica it is a fake Norton account created two weeks ago because she connected to public wifi. He explains what SpyEye malware is and Jessica reads most of the wiki page.
UltraViewer was used.
Call got disconnected. 18min 01sec James called back right away.
James says it’s a hacking issue, so we are transferred to the security officer, Sam Martin.
Sam says the hacking issue is linked to her Chase Bank account, possibly due to the Zelle transactions.
Jessica was very worried about the SpyEye issues she read about and whether her account was still compromised. She annoys Sam with endless questions about it.
A melon translator says that James has a Delhi/Noida/Gurgaon accent.
Chase Bank chg $5,789.56 sv $15,763.29 // username: bloodyfluffybunny13
Sam says there are hidden transactions that the hackers have created. Sam is going to create the security ID so that the hidden transactions will show up.
Rinoa thinks that the scammers are having difficulty figuring out how to hide her screen so she can’t see what they are doing.
A melon translator says that Sam is Delhi based and has a Punjabi accent.
Sam attempted a Zelle dummy transfer. Jessica didn’t want to approve it.
Sam: “You are repeating the same things again and again.”
Jessica: “Yeah, because we’re stuck on the same topic again and again.”
Jessica had many questions about why she should approve the transfer of $1,000. Sam has 12 years of experience, so Jessica should just trust him. Rinoa thinks Sam might not be so great at working with HTML. Jessica doesn’t understand why transactions are being hidden from her.
Jessica: “It’s not a dummy transaction.”
Sam: “Not an issue. It’s not in my hands. I have done my best to explain you each and everything but you are not understanding. So, once we hang up the call, and if you lose all your money from your account, we won’t be responsible for that. Let me tell you, for the Zelle transaction, your bank doesn’t offer any kind of securities.”
Sam: “Because we have the record of each and everything and we have this line recorded and we are recording your screen also. So, I can totally prove from my side that we haven’t made any transaction.”
Jessica [overtalking]: “You’re recording the screen, like all of my bank information and everything? Why?”
Sam: “No, no, no. Because we need to submit it to the courthouse also because hacking is a criminal offense.”
Jessica: “I don’t think you know your job.”
Sam: “I am not gonna explain you this again and again.”
Sam: “I think I need to educate you. You need to get classes from me for like two or three hours. Then, we can do this. Right? Because we don’t have that much time over here.”
Sam: “You don’t understand it? That’s not my fault.”
Jessica: “That money pends back to my account.”
Jessica: “You did hidded it.”
Sam: “Your problem is, once you start speaking, you don’t listen to the person in front of you.”
Unidentified Scammer: “Please leave your screen.”
Jessica: “Sorry. I was looking up an English muffin.”
Unidentified Scammer: “Miss, you again using your laptop screen?”
Jessica: “Sorry. I won’t touch it. I’ll leave it here.”
After searching for English muffins (horrible like soda bread) and then crumpets (nice with holes in and the cheese goes in the holes), the scammer made it so that Jessica couldn’t do anything with her computer at all. Sam attempted a Zelle transfer for $1,998. He says that Jessica lost the first $1,000 because she didn’t approve the dummy transaction. Says she has to approve this one or she’ll lose a total of nearly $3,000.
Sam: “Miss, just approve it and you will see the balance will go back into your account.”
Jessica: “I don’t think so. I think you’re a crook.”
Sam: “It is on a recorded line that you are not cooperating with us.”
Jessica: “It just doesn’t sit well with me. That’s all I’m saying. It doesn’t sit well with me.”
Jessica: “I’m not arguing with you. I’m telling you. This is not a question. This is not a debate. I can’t lose that thousand dollars. I can’t lose it. I cannot lose that thousand dollars.”
Jessica: “You’re telling me there’s no other way to deal with this hacker than sending $1,000 out of my bank account?”
Jessica: “I’m listening to you. I don’t like what you’re saying.”
Jessica: “You’re telling me that Chase Bank screwed up their banking by sending me a notification asking me if money is going to be leaving your account and, if you press NO, you just lose it? What kind of logic is that? What are you telling me?”
Jessica: “What use are you?”
Sam: “Approve it! Or else I will hang up the call and you will lose your money.”
Jessica: “I’m just telling you, this is a stupid idea!”
Jessica: “Did you just call me stiupid?”
Jessica: “The hell with Zelle!”
Jessica: “I’m cooperating with you. I’ve been cooperating with you since the beginning.”
Jessica: “You just admitted that Zelle isn’t protected. You said it yourself.”
Jessica: “Tell me where I’m wrong.”
Jessica: “Can I ask you a few questions really quick?”
Sam: “No! No more questions. Just tell me, do you want to get your money back or not?”
Jessica: “Yes. I do. I do want to get my money back. May I follow that up with a couple questions?”
Sam: “No! Right now, you have asked as possible questions you can ask.”
Jessica: “You don’t understand. I can’t lose this money.”
Jessica: “Sir, I can’t lose this money!”
Sam: “Miss, you’re already losing it by saying me the same thing again and again.”
Jessica: “Can I ask a simple question?”
Sam: “No questions. No more questions!”
Sam: “Do you understand me, what, like, I don’t have the words to say anything. I am speechless right now.”
Jessica finally presses YES on the approval notification.
Jessica: “Can I get a drink of water really quick?”
Sam: “First of all, login into your account, then you can drink the water.”
Jessica: “Sir, the money is missing from my account. Do you understand?”
Sam: “Do you understand what I am saying?!”
Jessica: “You lied to meI You lied to my face! I told you it wouldn’t be back and it’s still not back! Why are you hiding it? You said it was back! It’s still missing from the account!”
Unidentified Scammer takes the phone from Sam and transfers it back to Sam.
Sam: “Let me unhided it!!”
Melon translation “Click it, man.”
Jessica: “You lied to me. You lied. You’re a crook.”
Jessica: “I don’t feel good about this anymore!”
Jessica: “You just stole my money. That’s all you’ve done is steal my money.”
Jessica: “You take your lies away. I don’t want your lies!”
Jessica: “Friends don’t lie to one another. I trusted you even when I thought I shouldn’t have.”
Jessica: “I don’t trust you.”
Jessica: “You’re doing it by your own. Did I told you to do it, though? I didn’t!”
Jessica [overtalking]: “You better be sorry. I don’t want you to show me. Don’t touch it! Don’t touch the mouse! You did it, though! You touched it!”
Jessica: “No touchy.”
Sam: “You’re panicking.”
Jessica: “Yeah, I am panicking. You’re transferring $2,000 out of my account. Of course, I’m panicking.”
Jessica [overtalking] : “Don’t you touch my mouse! Whose computer is this? Thank you. Thank you! Don’t touch my computer!”
Jessica: “I would like you off my computer. I am done with this charade.”
Jessica: “Did I tell you to touch my mouse?!”
Transferred to Unidentified Scammer.
Jessica: “‘Cause you’re trying to steal the money. Right?”
Jessica: “Tell me the truth. You’re trying to take my money.”
Jessica: “So, I have to send real money to a fake transaction? That doesn’t make any sense! You’re lying to my face! Why are you lying to me?!”
Jessica: “What are you doing to my computer?!”
Unidentified Scammer: “You are sick from your mind, madam.”
Jessica: “You’re the one that’s sick. You’re corrupt.”
Jessica: “I think you need to get off my computer and leave me alone.”
Unidentified Scammer booped when he couldn’t explain why Jessica lost her money.
2hr 18min 05sec
Amibos!
Timestamp 03:02:20
Nancy Wheeler vs Arthur Dawson (Odor / Author Doosong / Dongsong), certified level 3 (later said he was level 4) technician ID number 417J2174 -Microsoft tech support & Shane Reid (Jace / Shawn Weed) from Chase Bank ext 9029 & Henry Dyer (Hairy Dryer) ID number BO9563
UltraViewer was used.
Chase Bank chg $5,789.56 sv $15,763.29
Last 4 digits of debit card #1684
Last 4 digits of SSN #5309
Mother’s maiden name: Charlotte
Nancy: “I was updating my computer and I think I came across something I shouldn’t.”
Shane said that all devices connected with wifi might be hacked. Nancy thought he was accusing her of hacking.
Nancy: “I was just trying to pirate a movie.”
Nancy: “It wasn’t even a good movie. I was looking up the first three episodes of Star Wars.”
Nancy: “It was episode 1. I don’t want to get in trouble for something that’s awful. Right?”
Nancy: “I’m very confused right now. I just want you to know that.”
Arthur: “Sure. Of course. Can I ask you what kind of confusion you are having now?”
Nancy: “Just general confusion.”
Arthur: “With this procedure, ma’am?”
Nancy: “Just everything in life.”
Arthur wants to go skydiving.
Nancy: “And you weren’t afraid of the sharks or the brain-eating AMIIBOS?”
Nancy: “What if it’s a lone shark and you are the first victim? Could you imagine? Why would you want to be the hamster, the guinea pig?”
Nancy: “Could you imagine if a crab gets all your toes and you wouldn’t be able to balance yourself? We need those to balance.”
Nancy: “It just says, ‘title microsoft scam.’”
Nancy: “I believe there’s always a solution. Didn’t John Lennon say that? There’s always a solution. That was his dying wish, to always have a solution to his problems.”
Nancy: “You didn’t bother me. The burping noise just isn’t pleasant to the ears.”
Arthur misspelled “sources” as “soyurces,” which caused Rinoa to giggle, prompting chat to wax poetic about soy and soy sauce, causing Rinoa to giggle incessantly. Some very creative melon conversations about different meals and how soy source can be used. 10/10 chat!
Arthur: “I can hereby confirm that your network has been hacked, unfortunately.”
Nancy: “I don’t know. I don’t read computer.”
Nancy: “So, I have a lot of soy sauce foreign addresses?”
Nancy: “I guess, like, a crab rangoon 3.0.”
Nancy: “Is this because I was stealing? Like, the time I was at the restaurant and it was an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. I kinda ordered a little bit more than I could eat and, when the waiter wasn’t looking, I put a bunch of sushi in a paper towel and then shoved it in my purse. I wasn’t gonna eat it for later and I threw it away because they were gonna charge me more. I didn’t want to pay. I felt guilty about that but I stuck it in my bag and it’s sushi in the purse. You know?” [True story]
Arthur: “That has nothing to do with the hacking over here right now.”
Nancy: “Most of us humans are allergic to brain cancer. It’s not something we want.”
Nancy: “What is PID? Is PID good?”
Nancy: “I can ringadingding you or you can ringadingding me.”
Nancy: “Did you step away to the bathroom?”
Nancy: “We’re not talking about somebody sitting on the toilet the proper way. We’re talking about the unspeakable and sitting forward on the toilet.”
Nancy: “Why are you telling me about your adult films? I don’t want to hear about this. Please. Have some decency. Oh heavens! Don’t bring this smut into my conversation. Please. OK? I don’t care what you watch. Whatever you do in your home is fine by your business. But oh heavens, don’t bring that into my conversation. My ears don’t need to hear about that. OK? You keep that smut to yourself. OK, boy? I don’t want to hear about it.”
Nancy: “I’m sorry but, if it doesn’t involve Luigi and Mario in my fanfictions, then I don’t have any business being there. I would never result to such lowering the bar. My bar is set very high. Luigi is a proper man.”
Nancy: “Keep your smut to yourself. The green one, not the red one. Understand?”
Arthur: “I have no idea what you’re talking about, ma’am.”
Nancy: “I’m talking about my future husband, Luigi. That’s all I’m talking about. OK?”
Nancy: “The scam you’re running is slowing down my computer is all.”
Arthur: “Better late than sorry, right?”
Nancy: “This is my only banking institution that I bank with.”
Nancy: “What happened to the days of somebody answering the phone and giving you proper human contact? Those days seem to be long gone.”
Nancy: “I made that mistake once and it cost me a kidney. I won’t do it again.”
Nancy: “I know what to say.”
Arthur connected the call to a “banking representative,” Shane Reid. When the phone initially picked up, the voice and accent were unfamiliar. Within a second, another voice and accent took over. Rinoa suspects the person who identified himself as Jace may have been an actual Chase employee before the call was switched to Shane.
Nancy: “There was somebody on my network that’s bypassing some sort of wobbelly-dobbelly or something. I don’t really understand it all.”
Nancy: “The security question about my favorite pet, is that not on there anymore?”
Nancy: “I was curious if the verification had changed or if we were going to go back to the original verification. That’s all I was asking.”
Nancy: “Can I ask why it sounds like you’re in a bowl of soup right now? It’s really hard to hear you.”
Shane: “OK.”
Nancy: “Could I do half an hour, then? Is that possible?”
Shane: “Not half an hour. We can go with 48 hours or 72 hours.”
Shane: “Do you have any pending transaction in your mind?”
Nancy: “Like in my brain? Hopefully not any AMIIBOS.”
Shane says that there’s a $9,800 charge to cornhub on Nancy’s account for cornographic material.
Nancy: “Sir. Sir! The smut that you are talking about, I don’t understand. I don’t understand why you assume that I want to hear about your business. What you do is your own business. I don’t wanna know.”
Nancy: “You spend $10,000 on something you could find free on the internet? I don’t understand.”
Nancy: “Move it over to your account. I don’t want your charges.”
Nancy: “Are AMIIBOS eating your brain right now? Because I don’t think you understand.”
Nancy: “Your brain is corrupted by the brain-eating AMIIBOS. You should get that checked out.”
Shane: “It might be a glitch because you’ve been hacked. The hackers are very smart.”
We booped after Shane went quiet. 2hr 04min 49sec Arthur called back.
Nancy: “They were clueless. I swear, they were owned by drop bears or something. They bonked their heads way too many times. They’re just clueless.”
Nancy: “Excuse my English, but he was an idiot. He was an idiot. Sorry, my French. Pardon my French. He’s an idiot.”
Nancy: “Sharp as a box of rocks.”
Transferred to Henry Dyer (Hairy Dryer) at Chase Bank headquarters.
Nancy: “Mr. Hairy Dryer, that is correct.”
Nancy: “I have looked for these transactions and I haven’t seen anything like that.”
Nancy: “Why would you leave it on my account? That’s a stupid question, don’t you think? Pardon my German. I’m sorry.”
Rinoa: “My toaster was hacked and now it’s running around, burning buns.”
Nancy: “Why is your fraudulent team not able to do something?”
Nancy: “You can’t stop the transaction? It’s too powerful?”
Nancy: “Put the frog team on. I wanna talk to them, then,”
Nancy: “Alright. I’ll stop you immediately if I have a question.”
Nancy: “Makes sense to me. You don’t have to explain it when I wasn’t confused the first time.
You’re only making it worse.”
Nancy: “A frog charge?”
Hairy: “Yeah.”
Nancy: “Can I ask you a question? Why did your parents name you Hairy?”
Hairy: “My name is Henry.”
Nancy: “Nobody brought time travel into this except for you.”
Nancy: “Mr. Hairy Dryer, what are you talking about?”
Nancy: “Let me ask you a question. We’ll wrap this whole short story long. Do you have everything under control?”
Arthur: “Yes.”
Nancy: “Perfect! Give me a call when you’re all finished with that and let me know that the $10,000 was removed from my account. Just give me a call right back and let me know how it goes. Good luck with everything that’s going on. I gotta jet. So, I’ll talk to you later. Thank you so much for taking care. You know what I mean? And for god’s sake, could you walk away from the river or something? Holy cow! What are you doing? Just turn off the bathroom sink or something. Have a good one. Take care of yourself. Now you fell down. You fell down. Oh my gosh. Stand up. What are you doing? I don’t even know anymore. Good luck with that. Stay calm. Don’t let the AMIIBOS get to you. That’s the worst thing you can do there. Have a good one, alright? Mr. Hairy Dryer. Stay safe out there, bud.”
We booped. 2hr 29min 16sec
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