Episode 328 Livestream Recap
{328} Wednesday, July 27, 2022 – 2 p.m. ET
SSS (Super-Sus Scammers)!
We Are Not Fraud…
Stream Timestamp [00:17:35]
Incoming call. Immediate boop. Didn’t say anything.
We called back.
Jessica vs Jack
Jack said that our number shows as a fraud number.
He booped.
Total Time Wasted: 2min 19sec
99 Problems but a Monkey Ain’t One…
Stream Timestamp [00:22:24]
Jessica Wilson vs James -Amazon
Refund amount $372.88 (handbag and multivitamins)
Jessicarabbit1337@gmail.com
AnyDesk was used.
Jessica: “You mean Flintstone vitamins?”
James: “Right.”
Jessica: “Please check with the frog team.”
James said they needed to complete a 3-step verification of Jessica’s name, location, account, & email address, which is 4 steps.
Transferred to specialist, Kevin.
Kevin walked Jessica through purchasing a $99 Nintendo gift card. He said it was a dummy transaction, but Jessica thought it was a real purchase.
Kevin: “What we are doing right now for you, Jessica, we will be making a dummy transaction through your Amazon account so we can be able to verify your location and everything and we will be securing your information by generating these digital code on your email. This is just a dummy transaction. As you know that you are connected with the Amazon secured server, so you will not going to get any charges for that.”
Jessica: “This is not monkey business right now.”
Jessica: “You’re tossing me around like monkey business right now.”
Kevin bailed and booped.
Total Time Wasted: 26min 26sec
Schrodinger’s Apple Support…
Stream Timestamp [00:57:15]
Jessica Wilson vs Dean
Dean said that this wasn’t Apple support and it was the wrong number.
He bailed and booped.
Called back and Charlie Answered.
Refund amount $349.99 charged to PayPal
Jessicadinonuggets1313@gmail.com
Someone in the background said Paypal, so Rinoa talked about PayPal with Charlie. Charlie said that this is Apple support.
He bailed and booped.
Total Time Wasted: 3min 33sec
Frank Wants to go to Hong Kong…
[01:03:04]
Jessica Wilson vs David Williams & Xavier Smith & Ryan Shelburne -Microsoft Support
Jessica was downloading a movie. Her computer is a 3-year-old Dell.
UltraViewer was used.
Chase Bank Akuzimac Ckg $16,147.25 Sv $56,346.89
Chode Mode Activated: 14min 20sec
Melon translation: “Abusing about sister”
Whenever David got frustrated, he made a rather primal vocalization that truly can’t be described.
David: “Don’t try to act oversmart.”
Jessica: “Sorry, I’ll go in the naughty corner.”
David: “No need to say me everything.”
David: “As you wish. You want to do zigzags, circles, as you wish.”
Chode Mode Activated! 30min 25sec
F7 strikes again! And again!! And again!!! And again!!!! And each time, David would start a new box and run the same “scan.” He just couldn’t go off script enough to try to skip the box so he didn’t have to keep dealing with it being “frozen.”
Jessica is 59 years old. David is 27. David claimed that the hackers were interfering with the scans. F7 strikes again!!!!! The “scan” showed that her IP had been hacked. F7 strikes again!!!!!!! And again!!!!!!!! David showed that many hackers were listening to Jessica’s computer.
David: “We can see here some alpha or numerical numbers. Correct?”
David: “Why are you opening music?”
When Jessica continued to overtalk and not follow instructions, David gave her a “first and last warning.” Not knowing what that meant, Jessica promptly searched to learn more.
Jessica: “Are you getting your first and final warning right now? That’s not good. Are you about to be terminated, sir?”
David tried to explain about illegal internet activity.
Jessica: “I was just letting you to know that I had permission to be everywhere I was at, like at the stores and such. I don’t think I’m illegally visiting. They’re public spaces. They want you to come and consume it. That’s why they open shop there, so they can make money.”
David: “Do you want me to send the police to your home right now”
Jessica: “For what? Going into a shop? I don’t understand.”
Jessica: “I didn’t do anything illegal. Did I?”
David explained to Jessica that people are using her identity to visit and make purchases on “sounds-like-corn” websites but Jessica misunderstood.
Jessica: “Sir, I don’t need to know what your browsing history is going on. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
David seemed to be addicted to corn and needed to follow the 12-step corn addiction program.
Jessica: “Some of my best friends are hackers.”
Accent morphed into Margaret until Jessica came back.
Jessica: “Frank’s my cat. My friend, Frank.”
David: “Might be Frank’s the hacker.”
David greeted cat-Frank. Once David knew Frank was a cat, he said that Frank wasn’t a hacker. Frank continued to interrupt David. David said he’ll transfer Jessica to her bank. She should tell them about the hacking.
Frank continued to overtalk David and then Jessica was overtalking David AND Frank.
Transferred to Chase Bank, Xavier Smith.
Jessica told Xavier that David has a corn addiction. Xavier muted himself so he could laugh when he heard about David’s addiction.
Xavier said there were Cornhub charges of $50,000. Jessica thought David must have been overtaken by his addiction and put these charges onto her account.
Transferred to Ryan Shelburne, who was actually Xavier with a fake-deep voice, which he quickly abandoned.
Ryan: “We’re going to add a recipient, an undercover agent, into your account who is going to hold your funds from your savings. That attorney’s going to be holding more than 50% of your assets.”
Jessica: “Are you stupid?”
Ryan: “No.”
Jessica: “Then don’t say stupid things. It may make you look like you’re stupid.”
Ryan told us we were being transferred but we were on hold for too long. We booped.
2hr 02min 48sec
While not on the phone, he tried to open the webcam. David Williams called us back but wouldn’t admit that he used our account to purchase corn. Jessica told David that she thought Ryan was trying to steal her money. She wanted to speak to Xavier again. Jessica told David that, since he said she needed a different bank account, she would prefer getting a Robinhood bank account.
David said that Jessica needs to put her money in the Hong Kong bank but she didn’t want to travel so far. She thought that this was bad advice.
Jessica: “That’s a longdistance relationship between me and my money.”
Jessica: “I don’t need to spend money. I can eat the cat food. Frankie doesn’t mind sharing with me.”
Since David obviously wasn’t hearing what Jessica was saying about not going to Hong Kong, she opened up notepad on the computer and wrote, “I can’t fly to Hong Kong – no passport.”
Jessica: “You erased my face. Put it back.”
David responded on the notepad:
“you no need to go anywhere
you have to sit in your house infront of your computer and you have to transfer
t
your money to bank of hongkong
and after 3 days your money is going to come back
your computer
no you don’t have to send your computer to hongkong”
Jessica thought that David meant that she would have to send her computer to Hong Kong. Jessica didn’t want to open her bank account on her computer “to keep it safe” but David said it would be OK.
Jessica: “I think, sometimes, you play the illiterate role too well, David.”
We were put on hold for too long. We booped.
2hr 38min 28sec
Since they were still connected to the computer, we searched things like, “How to safeguard money in bank.”
They called back but immediately booped.
We returned a missed call. Must have been a spoofed number. She called us back and wanted to know what scam we were running. She was American and had no patience. She booped.
That same number called back with David Williams on the line. David said that it must have been the hackers that made everything weird.
Jessica: “Let me talk to the aliens above because it just doesn’t make any sense.”
Jessica still wasn’t comfortable with sending her money to a bank in Hong Kong, even though David said that she would get her money back in three days.
Jessica couldn’t tell David if she had a laptop or a desktop because that’s too personal of a question.
Melon translation: “Will you be able to scam her?”
“She is making fun.”
The Whole Foods sells purple carrots!
David didn’t like the fact that there was only a Whole Foods nearby. He booped.
Total Time Wasted: 3hr 06min 03sec
Sam Needs a Fish Face-Slap…
Stream Timestamp [04:40:50]
Jessica Wilson vs Sam Williams -Norton
Refund amount $999.99 or $199.99
Sam said that the money would be deducted from the account and dismissed Jessica.
Jessica: “It will not be deducted from my account. You’re going to get off your lazy ass and you’re gonna change this account to be not deducted from my account and you’re gonna remove the charge from my account. You understand?”
Sam: *creepy laugh*
Jessica: “You want me to slap you in the face with a fish?”
Sam seemed to know that Jessica is a baiter and acted foolish. But we were still able to waste some of his time and entertain ourselves.
We booped.
Total Time Wasted: 9min 36sec
“I Don’t Work For a Potato in a Sack!”
Stream Timestamp [04:55:48]
Margaret Rosebud vs Mark Henry & Harry Mandis -Geek Squad
Refund amount $389.99
Margaret: “It no longer exists! That’s a deceased page!”
Margaret: “Are you loading up from a Playstation1 disk or something?”
Transferred to Harry Mandis (Hairy Mann / Hairy Mantis).
Margaret: “Come to your real voice! You sound like a chipmunk.”
Margaret: “I’m gonna 1 v 1 you. You’re gonna get powned.”
Harry told Margaret to come to her real voice and asked who she works with. He mentioned few wellknown scambaiters.
Margaret: “I don’t work for a potato in a sack!”
Margaret: “You keep running around the same bush. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
We booped in his face.
Total Time Wasted: 51min 53sec
See you tomorrow at 11 a.m. Eastern for Twitch Livestream!!
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