Episode 334 Livestream Recap
{334} Monday, August 8, 2022 – 11 a.m. ET
Killer Snot Monsters!!
Investing in the Snot Market…
Stream Timestamp [00:20:32] of 1st stream
Jessica Wilson vs Sam & Mike Cannon -McAfee
Refund amount $399.99
Sam said we received a fake email. He said that McAfee doesn’t have a plan for that price. Sam said that Jessica’s email account is compromised. He showed us SuperAntiSpyware.
We were transferred to Mike Cannon.
Jessica: “You could always be the snot cannon. Right?”
Mike gave us snot market, er… stock market advice.
Jessica: “That snot a bad deal.”
Jessica said she lost $5 in the stock market on a bad dog biscuit deal. She’s much more cautious about investments now.
Jessica: “Could you blow your nose? Would that be possible? Just like, rub it against the wall or something?”
Mike put us on hold to blow his nose. We booped. He called back.
Jessica: “Give me one second. We got bored.”
We booped.
Total Time Wasted: 29min 59sec
SpongeBob & Dr. Who Crossover Call…
Stream Timestamp [00:02:51] of 2nd stream
Jessica vs Gary (Mr. Snail) & Dalek & Unidentified Scammer -Walmart
He couldn’t handle Jessica trying to navigate and overtalk. He booped. We called back. A Dalek answered. He booped to call back on a better line but didn’t call back. So, we called him back. Dalek answered again and booped again.
We called back again. The person who answered said that they don’t have anybody named Gary there.
Jessica: “You sound pretty dumb enough that you could help me through this.”
He booped.
Total Time Wasted: 11min 10sec
Call in the Action Frog Team!!
Stream Timestamp [00:17:01] 2nd stream
Jessica Wilson vs Alex Johnson & Alex Johnson & Edward Webb (Mr. Ed) -Norton
Refund amount $349.99
UltraViewer & AnyDesk was used.
MelonBuddy Translation: Keep going, man.
Jessica was worried about ID theft because it has happened to her before. She didn’t understand why they were focusing on the refund instead of the identity theft.
We were transferred to the other Alex Johnson, senior billing manager. He offered a $50 discount to keep the service. We refused.
Jessica: “I wanna talk to the frog team.”
Jessica: “Skip the damn step one!”
Jessica: “You seem to not be capable of helping me.”
Alex said that the refund got stuck.
Jessica: “If I could have a survey after this, I would love to tell you how to run your company because, obviously, you don’t know how to do it.”
Jessica: “I will not be going easy on you. I’m a level 4 Yelp reviewer. It’ll be harsh.”
Alex said that the Action Frog Team will be calling us momentarily.
Jessica: “I need to get a hold of them. So, I want to be available. So I’m sorry, Mr. Johnson, I must hang up in your face. I am so sorry, but I must go.”
We booped. Edward Webb called us back. He’s part of the Action Frog Team. His caller ID said Memorial Medical Center.
Jessica: “Are you at the hospital right now? Are you OK?”
Edward said that the fraudulent transaction originated in Denmark.
Jessica: “This is what I’ve been trying to get a hold of somebody to help me navigate through the internet darkwebs of my internet securities of my identity.”
Edward said that they had stopped $399 transaction but her card is attached on 3 different websites, Amazon, PayPal, and cryptocurrency websites. He was speaking to the Chase Bank fraud department. He said that Chase Bank had removed her card from the websites and made it so that the hackers couldn’t use the card anymore by restricting it so it can’t be used on any websites.
Edward said that there were two fraudulent transactions:
$20,000 transaction on Thursday
$25,000 transaction on Friday
Edward: “This is a recorded conversation. Whatever that you say here on this recorded line will be used for you or against you in the court of law as an evidence.”
Jessica: “Get froggy on it!”
Edward said that someone at the bank was selling her card information to someone in Denmark.
Jessica: “It’s Zelda. The cute boy at my bank, he’s doing it. He flirts with me and I told him, ‘no.’ He wears crocs.”
Zelda’s last name is Triforce.
Jessica: “Are you trying to tell me my bank is full of criminals?”
Jessica: “We need to put Zelda behind the bars.”
Edward put us on hold so he could call our bank.
Jessica: “Right. They’re gonna bust in the door. The next thing you know, the teargas is gonna be thrown. Everybody down on the ground. It looks like a robbery but it’s actually just a raid on the bank to find Zelda and he’s got a muffin in his mouth, slippin’ out the back door. I totally understand.”
Jessica: “I think Zelda enjoys being kidnapped.”
Jessica: “Do I have any role to play in this? Should I kick over the pastries when I get there?”
Jessica: “We could just cast magic missile at the hacker.”
Jessica: “Can we call it a bandicoot transaction instead of a dummy transaction?”
Edward: “We will be providing you with the bandicoot account details.”
MelonBuddy Translation: What account number should I give?
Edward: “Are you dumb or are you trying to be smart, which you are not?”
Jessica: “Don’t call me dumb. OK?”
Edward: “Yes, you are that.”
Jessica: “It’s hurting my feelings.”
Jessica: “It sounded like a drop in the toilet. That’s why I asked if you were in the bathroom.”
Edward accused Jessica of wasting his time. We booped.
Total Time Wasted: 2hr 02min 39sec
Well, Shoot My Foot…
Stream Timestamp [02:39:29] of 2nd stream
Jessica Wilson vs Unidentified Scammer & Jacob Martin (Marley / Mr. Hiccup) & Denis Williams (Dennis the Wiener) -PayPal
Iphone13 $780
AnyDesk was used.
Purchase was made from Texas. After Jacob mentioned Texas, Jessica quickly developed a Texan accent.
Jessica: “The shift key? You want me to tap that one, partner?”
Jessica: “Ya’ll want me to go back?”
Jessica wanted the password to be: cowfed123, but Jacob insisted on paypal123.
Jessica: “Don’t pitch a hissyfit. Gotta slow down. Alright?”
MelonBuddy Translation: She is pissing me off.
Jacob bailed & booped when Jessica “accidentally” closed AnyDesk.
We called back. Dennis Williams answered.
Jessica: “Well, shoot my foot! OK.”
We were suddenly transferred to someone else, who suddenly put us on a hold that hung up on us.
Total Time Wasted: 24min 35sec
He’s Not Gonna Call Back…
Stream Timestamp [03:13:40] of 2nd stream
Jessica Wilson vs Jason -Norton
We were calling him back as we had missed his call.
Jason said he’d look into it and call us back in 10 minutes.
Total Time Wasted: 3min 03sec
“I Wanna Show You My Awkward Turtle…”
Stream Timestamp [00:03:21] of 2nd stream
Jessica Wilson vs James Anderson (Jimmy) ID#BBYY9946 & Peter William (Willy / Mr. Snot) -GeekSquad
We spoke to James in Episode {329}, on July 28, 2022.
AnyDesk was used.
Refund amount $399; “Accidental” refund amount $30,399
Jessica: “Jimmy, you wet noodle. What are you talking about?”
Jessica: “Jimmy, you made more icons than there is space. Why did you make so many icons? What are you doing, Jimmy?”
We were transferred to Peter William (Willy), registration manager. Peter wanted to see the email but Jimmy had it, we had already shown it to Jimmy.
Peter: “I don’t think that I’m telling you any xyz that you didn’t understand my words.”
Jessica: “I didn’t realize you should see it, Mr. Snot.”
Jessica: “Have you ever tried to snort egg yolk at all?”
We learned an old remedy for a runny nose: If you snort an egg, it will help the snot.
Jessica: “You should beam your nose up there, Snotty.”
Peter didn’t want to talk about his nose.
Jessica: “You’re sick in the head. You need help. I’m here to help you.”
Peter showed us his “CitiBank banking screen” to “prove” that too much money was sent.
Jessica: “Tell me, Mr. Peter, did you get connected to your girlfriend’s secure server and edit her HTML to be single to married?”
Peter didn’t want to tell us how he met his partner.
Jessica: “Tell me, how did you sweep her off her hooves?”
Jessica told the story of how she met her partner.
Jessica’s Partner: “I wanna show you my awkward turtle.”
Jessica: “’I’d love to see your awkward turtle’. It was basically a Disney movie.”
F7 strikes again! And again!!
Jessica: “Your snot drives me crazy. You make me want to slap you with a lawnmower.”
Peter’s partner is a model and he met her at a party. Peter started flirting with Jessica.
Jessica: “Are you hittin’ on me? You have a fiancé, boy!”
Peter admitted that it was his mistake that too much money was transferred. He said that Jessica was distracting him by asking about his girlfriend. He told us that his girlfriend slapped him last night because he was being a controlling jerk. And he was thinking about that instead of focusing on his task. So really, it was Jessica’s fault that there was a mistake.
Jessica asked for advice on how to have a good interview for a job. The interview was later that afternoon. He asked what kind of job it was.
Jessica: “I guess it’s a new industry or something. I applied for this, it’s the head coffee. So basically, essentially what we do at this job is we’re gonna be connecting people through Zoom and then serving them coffee. You can consider it almost like a coffee place but through the digital age.”
Peter opened up a screen for translations so that he could write something for Jessica to read. He was giving her instructions on what to do at her bank. Jessica is not OK with lying to the bank.
Jessica: “Why are we translating from English to English?”
We got overseas bank account information but Jessica wasn’t OK with that. It was in Hong Kong. She wanted a bank account in the US.
Jessica: “Just send me your ShittyBank.”
Jessica: “Dead end road. Let’s talk about something else. Throw it in the dustbin.”
Jessica said that she needed to hang up soon so that she could go to the job interview. Peter gave Jessica information for a domestic bank account. Rinoa reported that information.
Peter wanted us to deposit the money into the bank before the job interview. Jessica told him we would deposit the money after we go to the interview because we don’t want to be late and lose our job. We booped.
Time Wasted Today: 1hr 38min 19sec
Time Wasted Previously: 36min 14sec
Total Time Wasted: 2hr 14min 33sec
See You Tomorrow at 2 p.m. Eastern for Livestream on Twitch!!
You can watch this full episode on the Rinoa Poison Archive YouTube channel!
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