Episode 353 Livestream Recap
For The First Time Ever, a Scammer Recognized Rinoa!!!
Calling from Elephant’s Butthole…
Stream Timestamp [00:27:14]
Nancy Wheeler vs James & Michael & David Lake (Flake, Flicker, Fleck) & Upper Manager -Microsoft
Refund amount $539; first $250, then $289
“Accidental” refund amount $28,900
Nancy: “Your call is breaking up. You sound like you are speaking from the inside of an elephant’s butthole. Can you call me back from a better line?”
We booped. We called back. Michael answered.
We were transferred to David.
Nancy: “Can you ask the person behind you to speak quieter? I can’t hear you.”
David connected us to the “refund portal.“
Nancy: “You have the floor. The microphone is in your face.”
Nancy: “Sounds like you need to take that nasty-ass cough out of here. Get a drink of water or something.”
Nancy is a spokesperson for a logging company, mostly press conferences. Spins negative events into positives. Our motto is “Wood Up In the Morning!”
Nancy: “Maybe you don’t like smart options. I’m not entirely sure.”
Transferred $250 successfully.
“Chase Private Client” was spinning/swinging as if tethered only by the last T.
Chode Mode Activated: 57min 11sec
Opened portal to transfer the remaining money.
F7 strikes again!
Nancy accidentally typed “chicken” instead of “checking” on the refund portal.
David: “If you don’t allow me to speak, how can we do it?”
Transferred $289.00, but it was $28,900.
David wouldn’t let Nancy have control of her computer to check anything. He told her to wait for 30 seconds about 20 times. He kept telling her to check the amount but wouldn’t let her have control of her computer to check it.
We were transferred to the upper manager, who didn’t give his name. We were transferred back to David. To “speed up the process,” Nancy restarted the computer because it kept updating.
David asked Nancy to unlock her computer, but he was the one that put the password on the computer. She didn’t know what the password was. This felt like an invasion of her property. She requested that he remove the password as “a humble request.”
He said that the password was for security. Nancy said she wouldn’t do anything until he removed the password since she didn’t ask for or approve this security.
Nancy: “I would advise you to settle down.”
David: “We will block your life. We will make you disabled.”
They refused to unlock the computer and Nancy wouldn’t do anything until they did so. So, they booped.
MelonBuddy Translations Throughout the Call: She’s wasting my time.
She’s a super pain in the butt.
What am I supposed to do with her? Can you please talk to her?
Restart. She knows everything.
Did she come back?
Where are you going?
Delete everything
Let it go, man.
What customer is that?
Forget her. Let’s take another call.
Not yet. Hold on. I’m gonna keep trying.
Hang up. She will call.
Total Time Wasted: 1hr 40min 14sec
Officially Famous!!!!
Stream Timestamp [02:26:35]
Jessica Wilson vs Unidentified Scammer & Eric Wilson & Mark William (Williams) -Walmart
Refund amount: $849.99 Whirlpool
Jessica: “I don’t want to know about somebody’s underwear being purchased.”
Eric: “Don’t use your mind because you don’t have. Just follow my instruction. Alright?”
Jessica: “You have a very pleasant voice to listen to. It reminds me of dying birds.”
Jessica: “Can I say that, Eric? Your voice sucks!”
We were transferred to Mark William from the billing department.
Mark said that he was going to provide computer security for us. He ran a full-system scan on the computer.
*********************************************
In order to better preserve this moment in history for future generations, the following conversation has been transcribed in its entirety.
Mark: “OK. Can you please confirm me your full name, ma’am?”
Jessica: “Jessica Wilson.”
Mark: “Jessica Wilson? OK, and are you a YouTuber, ma’am?”
Jessica: “Uh, is there a popular Jessica Wilson on YouTube?”
Mark: “No, no, no. Like, do you ever, like, did you ever, like, do you have any YouTube channel?”
Jessica: “Ummm… I don’t think so.”
Mark: “And your YouTube channel is starting with your, like the name of your YouTube channel is starting with R?”
Jessica: “What do you mean? Ah…”
Mark: “Are you playing with me right now?”
Jessica: “I’m not playing with you. Are you there Mr. Mark Williams? Hey!”
Rinoa: “He actually ended the session. Heh.”
Sherry: “Where’s my refund?”
Rinoa: “Yeah, I got caught. He didn’t know. He didn’t remember what the YouTube channel was. He probably didn’t know how to pronounce it or anything, but like… ‘What is your YouTube?’ Yeah, he caught it. Jessica Wilson, he got it from that.”
Rinoa: “I think it is officially time to retire that name. I don’t think I should ever use it again.”
*********************************************
He bailed & booped.
Total Time Wasted: 26min 17sec
Lara Redfield will be new character name, even though Rinoa may pronounce it as “Laura” or spelling it differently.
Lara, Laru, Lura, Whatever…
Stream Timestamp [03:12:43]
Lara (Laru) Redfield vs Jennifer -GeekCare Online Support
Return of Windows RG!!
LuraR13gold@gmail.com
Fees for tech support services:
1-time $199.99
1-year $299.99
Jennifer said that she was going to try to fix the computer and will call back.
Lara chose to have the 1-time fix option.
Jennifer said that she would work on it and would call back in about an hour.
She bailed and booped.
Total Time Wasted: 18min 55sec
The Mighty Orange Tree…
Stream Timestamp [03:44:39]
Lara Redfield vs Alan Parish (ThisSideRain) -PayPal
Refund amount $523.48
“Accidental” refund amount $50,000
Alan: “What do you see?”
Lara: “On the computer or on the paper? I don’t see anything on the paper. It’s blank.”
Alan: “Write down the fraud number on a piece of paper.”
Lara works as a weather balloon operator for a local news station and hopes to go up in a hot air balloon this weekend.
Lara: “Since you’re in Florida, have you had a chance to see the Mighty Orange Tree?”
Alan: “Yeah. It’s good.”
Lara: “How could you not fall over in awe. It’s a 300-foot orange tree!”
The pond around the tree allows for the gators to lounge at the top of the tree, eating the oranges.
Alan doesn’t like oranges.
Lara: “Has anybody ever told you that you have a face for radio?”
Alan wanted Lara to get a refund of only $500 but she wanted the additional $23.48, too.
Lara: “I know somebody. I can give them a call. He can make this right. He’s a good guy. Just don’t say anything to the bosses. He’s an ethical hacker.”
He bailed and booped after calling Lara a bitch. We called back and asked for Alan and were transferred to him, but it wasn’t the Alan in Florida that we were just talking to. He wouldn’t transfer us to the real Alan.
They didn’t seem to have a clue what they were doing, so we booped.
Total Time Wasted: 46min 33sec
Bad Breath…
Stream Timestamp [00:26:03] of 2nd stream
David
Invoice #987654321
Refund amount $1,477
He said that he’d cancel it within the next day.
He bailed and booped after hearing a quick insult.
Total Time Wasted: 1min 38sec
Hold Your Horse Down…
https://www.youtube.com/clip/UgkxlM3raKPPQU_KfKLPESJNQ63gWKkPwclo
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