Rinoa Poison: Scambaiter

Stream Timestamp [00:21:03]

Robert & Brian Anderson -Maintenance Dept (Tech support)

UltraViewer was used.

We booped so someone else could call us.

Answered Robert’s call but it was Brian Anderson from the billing department.

He put us on foreverhold when he saw an email from a previous scammer. We booped.

Total Time Wasted: 22min 42sec

 

Stream Timestamp [00:59:01]

Miles called us back!! CONT from Ep {370} on 10/13/22

The parcel of glittery goat poop was out for delivery but was not delivered today.

Jessica is 43 years old.

 

Jessica went birdwatching over the weekend and saw some scamadoos.

Miles said that he can’t pick up the package today. He said the money would be digitally refunded to Jessica even though the package doesn’t have a return address and hadn’t been delivered yet.

Jessica was distraught that he wouldn’t pick up the box.

Miles connected to Jessica’s computer again. He tried to show that he had put the money back in the account, but Jessica didn’t want it.

Jessica: “I’m only getting angry at the stupidity right now.”

Jessica: “Go pick up the damn parcel!”

Jessica: “You need to find a way to pick up that parcel!”

Miles: “I wish I could do that.”

 

Jessica: “Nobody reverses money from a box!!”

Jessica asked to speak with one of the accounting idiots who thought it was a good idea to send her money again.

We were transferred to “Steve” who sounded suspiciously like Miles with a deeper voice. He made no more sense than Miles. We were transferred back to Miles after Steve said many words.

Jessica: “The stupidity that was falling out of your mouth was coming out of his mouth.”

We booped to call USPS and try to get them to require a signature and there’s no way to add a return address. We called Miles back. Jessica said she would send more money if he read the apology letter she wrote for him to read. She sent it to him via a text.

Miles: “It takes a long time.”

Jessica: “Well, receive the text faster.”

 

I, Miles, must apologize on behave on my sucky team and my coworkers who suck. I, Miles, don’t suck all the time, but sometimes, I can’t help it. I am a failure to my entire family for my actions and for sucking hard at my job. Shame on me to infinity. I shame my ancestors as well. May I rot in hell for my actions. I hope to get a different job somewhere else. I would love to work at a car dealership as I am only a little boy in a big world. I would call myself a rat, but that would be a disgrace to the vermin world. I’m a small man, in more ways than one. I’m a barbie girl, in a barbie world. Money is no object. I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby. You can touch my hair, keep my clothes on everywhere. Wink, wink. I belong in the dustbin as my father was a hamster. I’m so pathetic even Zelda wouldn’t save me. Apologies for people who write good, and encourage those to write good also. I will not holla for a dolla no more. I ain’t no holla back girl. It’s your boy, banana lover. I love birds and everything about birds. Cash me outside. Smash that like, comment, and subscribe.

 

Jessica: “Should I send it by carrier pigeon?”

Miles: “You made me say harsh word about myself but I’m not angry at you at all.”

Jessica: “When you got your lobotomy, did it hurt?”

Jessica: “You’re a grown-ass man. What are you talking about?”

Jessica: “Your sense of humor is weird. It’s creepy.”

Jessica: “You’re a creepy hamster.”

We got in the blue car to head to the bank! We started a game of 20 questions but he started creeping right away.

Jessica: “Don’t think too hard. You might fry your brain.”

Miles: “I am.”

 

Jessica was thinking of Justin Bieber. He solved it in 14 questions. Jessica guessed Scarlett Johansson in just 6 questions. She won!!

 

Jessica requested that he read the apology letter again.

Miles: “Don’t laugh at me.”

 

Miles: “Don’t call me ‘sir’.”

Jessica: “Ok,  Buttmunch”

 

Jessica got Miles to connect to her computer using AnyDesk. Reverse connection was rejected. Miles told Rinoa to pack up the money like she did with the last box.

Jessica: “I have toilet paper. It might help you with the first box.”

Jessica asked Miles about the Statue of Liberty. He started reading the wiki page and she called him out on it. He denied it and she said he was a terrible liar.

Jessica told Miles that if he was going to make her pack up a box and ship it again, then she insisted that he follow every speaking turn with the sound of the scamadoo (sounds like a fart). He agreed and did so. He also did his Daffy Duck impression.

Jessica: “Are you only saying that because Spike has you by the neck and he has his fist cocked.”

Jessica: “You’re destroying my prop paper here.”

Miles: “I can’t. I’m not a scamadoo.”

Miles: “I love a woman making cat sounds.”

Jessica: “You just blew a fat one over the microphone.”

Miles told us that he likes it when women make cat sounds, which made it weird.

Jessica: “You know what happens when you get out of line. You have to read the apology letter.”

Miles wanted Jessica to send out the parcel today but she wanted to wait until tomorrow. She kept saying that she would ship it tomorrow and then booping in his face. He didn’t like that. He finally convinced her to miss watching the Young and the Restless to go to UPS. Her cell battery died when she was at the bank. 

 

Melonbuddy Translations Throughout the Call:

Say customer’s number.

Did she login on laptop?

I am not able to understand the number.

OK, OK

Customer is giving money.

Connect it. Open.

I know. She is doing it.

Computer. We don’t need the PC for this.

Send her address.

Is your customer messing with you?

Let’s see what’s on her PC first.

We’ll open their camera and see what they look like. (might be talking about another victim)

Damn it. It’s not working.

Give her a new code.

Give the link to her.

(Guy in the background) WTF are you talking about?

Did you take the money from her?

Did you have them get cash? How much?

Ask her to take cash for the parcel.

 

Total Time Wasted: 7hrs 00min 02sec

Rinoa said she’ll call him again tomorrow and we’ll hope the poop gets delivered tomorrow instead of today.