Episode 321 Livestream Recap
{321} Thursday, July 14, 2022 – 11 a.m. ET
Final stream of the week – NEW YouTube video premiere on Saturday!!
Is the Bro-mance Really Over?
Stream timestamp [00:31:03]
Bob vs Klaus cont.
Bob called Klaus to discuss their business venture in selling iPhones that they talked about yesterday. Klaus told Bob that he lost his job because Bob didn’t help him yesterday. Klaus told Bob to buy gift cards or else he won’t do business with him.
Klaus booped.
Total Time Wasted: 2hr 41min 22sec
No Scamming in Front of the Baby!
Stream timestamp [00:37:09]
Jessica Wilson vs Matt William (Mack Williams) -McAfee
A baby could be heard in the background.
Ultraviewer was used.
Refund amount $499.99
Matt wants to see the email but we don’t have one. We booped.
Matt wrote “pick call” on notepad message.
Matt called back repeatedly. We eventually answered once Rinoa had made a quick email to show him. Rinoa forgot to change the phone number on the email but the scam continued anyway.
Matt says he scanned the computer and found a CSRSS trojan virus in the computer. He tells Jessica about the service plans that McAfee offers. Jessica thinks the plan prices are “criminal, a scam.”
Jessica: “But I don’t want your crap.”
Matt: “Sorry?”
Jessica: “I said, sorry, sorry, maybe I was a little rude on that. I said, I was saying, ‘I don’t want your crap!’ It’s garbage! Rubbish!”
Matt reduced the price until Jessica was interested in buying. The baby started crying loudly near Matt.
Jessica: “Could you go take care of your child?”
Matt: “Wait, wait.”
Jessica [overtalking]: “No, no, no, no. Stop! Stop on the computer. Go take care of your child. Go tend to your child. Be a good dad and go take care of your child! Stop talking to me and go take care of your child. No, you, no, go. I will wait a second. I will wait.”
We booped.
Matt opened the notepad on Jessica’s computer and typed. “Fuck off.” But then he called us back. We’re not interested. We booped and ignored any further calls.
Total Time Wasted: 29min 32sec
Rinoa said she was fine with wasting Matt’s time but didn’t want to intentionally get him angry because the baby was nearby.
All You Ever Wanted to Know About Ducks…
Stream timestamp [01:23:55]
Jessica Wilson vs Sam (Here) & Justin -Tech support
Sam said Jessica’s computer has a trojan virus. He said that he could help but there would be a charge. Sam put our call on hold and we enjoyed a lovely bosanova while he was gone. FastSupport was used. Transferred to Justin.
Rinoa: “Don’t look at that page!”
While on hold, we learned all about ducks from Rinoa, thanks to the vast library of totally accurate and fascinating duck information stored in her brain.
Justin put us on forever hold, so we booped. He likely saw the VM.
Total Time Wasted: 16min 08sec
$10,000 Should go to Fight Vegemite Addiction if it’s Going Anywhere…
Stream Timestamp [01:49:00]
Jessica Wilson vs Henry Williams (Hairy Willy) & Jordan -Norton
TeamViewer was used.
Refund amount $349.27 + $100 tax; “Accidental” refund amount $10,000
While on the call with Hairy, we got a message on the computer. “HELLO SIR HOW ARE YOU THIS SIDE PETER YOUR COMPUTER TECHNICIAN HOW IS YOUR COMPUTER WORKING SIR”
Hairy: “Please ignore that. That has a fraud.”
Hairy: “Don’t whisper a single information of yours.”
Transferred to Jordan.
Jessica: “You are the head honcho? The big cheese?”
Jessica: “What are you chewing on?!”
Jessica: “Help me today by getting that gum out of your mouth!”
Jessica: “That was your machine. Your stupid machine!”
Jordan got frustrated and became intimidating.
Jordan: “Are you gonna go ahead and login? Yes or no? Or I’ll just block your account.”
Jessica accidentally saw her bank account balances, which now shows $10,000 missing from her savings account, before Jordan covered the screen again.
Jordan said that he is going to empty Jessica’s account because he thinks she’s trying to keep his money. Jordan changed the HTML code of Jessica’s savings account even though Jessica could see her screen again, returning the mysteriously lost $10,000.
Jessica: “You don’t have any authority over my bank account. Who do you think you are?”
Jordan said he would transfer all her money into a charity account. Jessica told him not to transfer her money because she already supported a charity that is very important to her.
Jessica [overtalking]: “It’s not gonna be sent to a charity organization. Only one condition and that’s the Vegemite Charity. That’s the only charity that I support. I need to help people that need to recover from Vegemite addiction. Because people think it tastes good, but it doesn’t! It’s not. It’s disgusting! The campaign is to help people recover from the Vegemite. OK? And I support that charity but I’m not giving all my money to it. I just help the organization. OK? The Vegemite charity, to help addicts recover. The Vegemite charity. It’s to help people recover from Vegemite. Yeah, people that are addicted to the substance of Vegemite. It’s to help them recover from it. I had a family member that was addicted to Vegemite. Every morning, painstakingly every morning, they would put it on some bread and eat it. It’s sad. It’s destroying them. It destroys them. And I help them. I wanna help others. I watched my friend suffer for years, saying that they loved it. And you know what? That’s the only charity I support. I support that charity. I am the one that actually donates that. You don’t take my money and donate it to that charity. I didn’t ask you to do that. Did I? So, take your powertripping words and shove it up your ass. OK? That’s not what I wanna do with my money. You have no authority here. Do you understand me?”
Jordan stopped responding to us, so we booped.
Total Time Wasted: 53min 45sec
Get Out While You Can. I Like You, Kid. Get Out Now!
[03:09:50]
Nancy Wheeler vs George Wilson (Jordan) & John (George) & Steve -Norton
Refund amount $259.99
TeamViewer was used.
Nancy: “Well, let me say, you have been absolutely fantastic, like a sponge on a goofball that rolls around on a hill. You know what I’m saying?”
Nancy: “Do you like eating salads and have you ever had a salad where you got slapped in the face by a fish real hard? Yeah. Do you like the fish-slap salad?”
George has a weiner dog.
Nancy: “You drowned-looking rat, why a weiner dog?”
Nancy is thinking about getting a badger as a pet.
Transferred to John.
Nancy: “You know what I mean? You got what I’m saying. Right? You like to eat soap. You know what I’m talking about. Right, George?”
Transferred back to George. George says that the billing department will call us back. Steve from the cancellation and accounts department called us back.
Steve: “You’re not hairing me.”
Nancy: “Steve, you’re basically the trash man for the computer?”
Nancy: “There’s no cancellation button on the email. I looked.”
Steve: “It’s like a sleeping mode, ma’am. Whenever the junk files will get removed from your computer, your computer will go to the hibernation mode.”
Nancy: “Can we wake BooBoo up or something? He’s sleeping right now and I need my computer. Alright? So, let’s get BooBoo working. Let’s get Yogi Bear up. There’s a picnic basket and it’s going to go into his face.”
Nancy: “I’m tired and retired every day.”
Nancy: “You were just yappin’ and yappin’ and yappin’ and yappin’ and I couldn’t understand anything. It was just goin’ in one ear and out the other. It was just boring me to sleep. Do you know what it’s like to be bored to sleep? It’s pretty awful. It’s pretty awful. You know? You’re just zoning out, just staring at a computer screen and you’re just hoping that the person on the other end will just shut up for a second. It’s outrageous. OK? Just letting you know, it was outrageous. I was just asking, what do you want me to do?”
Nancy: “You and all 3 brain cells, I’m proud of you.”
Nancy: “I like you, Steve. You’re a good kid.”
Melon translation: Omg. She has a lot of money.
Nancy: “Steve, could I give you some life advice?”
Nancy tells the story of her friend, Jack, who got into some trouble with thievery.
Nancy: “If I could give any advice? Don’t be a criminal.“
Nancy: “He ended up getting into trouble with Johnny Law. Right? He got in trouble, thrown into the paddywagon, brought down behind the bars.”
Nancy: “Do you want to smell Tom’s farts through the bed mattress? I don’t think so!”
Nancy: “He’s got a tattoo of a piece of cheese and everybody calls him Spicy Jack.”
Steve says he’s having some server problems. He can’t help us right now.
Nancy: “Can you do me a favor and promise me that you’ll lay off the criminal behavior? Go do something productive with your time. Can you do that for me?”
Steve: “Yes, I will.”
Nancy: “I know you’re a young punk. I know you get into trouble.”
Nancy: “Get out while you can. I like you, kid. Get out now.”
We booped.
Total Time Wasted: 1hr 01min 11sec
Created by a member of the Melon Patch: “Vegemite sniffers need to seek help. Don’t try this at home kids.”
Please support the Vegemite Charity near you!
Rinoa declares: “We need to clean up the Vegemite! It’s polluting our streets!”
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