Episode 322 Livestream Recap
{322} Monday, July 18, 2022 – 11 a.m. ET
New Week, new scammers!
Am I in Mexico or California?
Stream Timestamp [00:20:10]
Margaret Rosebud vs Daniel Brown Badge #97103 -Amazon Fraud Department
Zip code 81183 (Rinoa couldn’t remember it. This zip code is in Mexico.)
Daniel told Margaret that orders were shipped to three different states and asked if she had sent these packages. Margaret said that she had sent a package to her daughter a few months ago.
Margaret: “The package arrived on time, as the ETA told me. The tracking number went right to the address. I know it didn’t go to Texas or, I don’t even know how the package was split into three.”
Daniel asked for Margaret’s zip code again and she said, “94118.” (The correct San Francisco zip this time.)
Daniel realized that the zip codes didn’t match. He bailed and booped after some not-so-kind words.
Total Time Wasted: 9min 26sec
We called back. They answered and hung up immediately.
Can’t Drive Because You’re Too Old? Just Walk!
Stream Timestamp [00:34:45]
Margaret Rosebud vs Sebastian Sauve (Saliva/Saw), Adam Fox, Chris -PayPal Online Support
Refund amount $197
Order #AMZ92431108 – Crypto Currency
AnyDesk was used.
Zip code 94118 in California
Margaret is 79 years old, just below their target demographic.
Sebastian told Margaret that “there are certain compromise issues” on her account.
Sebastian: “Please pay attention over here. This is serious problem that you are facing right now.”
Sebastian: “Wait. Wait! Don’t get hyper!”
Transferred to Adam Fox, senior super-wiser team of security.
Adam was very sus. He asked about the Don’t Touch Your Mouse wallpaper. Margaret was concerned about logging into her bank while Adam was connected to her computer, but he assured her that he wouldn’t be able to see what she types. Adam installed FireFox, which he called a “secure browser.” He said that there are hackers connected to Margaret’s computer. Adam wanted to know what the Discord application is for and said that he was going to scan Margaret’s Facebook.
We were transferred to manager, Chris. Margaret was starting to lose her patience.
Margaret: “I haven’t touched a damn thing.”
Completely skipping over the typical HTML “magic trick,” Chris told Margaret to go to the CVS to get her refund. When Margaret told him that she can’t drive due to her age, he told her to walk or take a bus. No concern for her safety whatsoever.
He took some time to mess around with her Zelle account. He said that hackers have infected everything. For some reason, this meant that CVS won’t work.
Chris then told Margaret that she had to go to the bank and withdraw $20,000 cash so the hackers didn’t steal it.
Margaret: “Shouldn’t you call my bank and tell them there’s a problem?”
Chris bailed and booped.
He wrote a note on the computer’s notepad. “Pick my call.”
Sebastian called us back. We answered.
Sebastian: “Kitboga, fuck you!”
He booped.
Total Time Wasted: 51min 56sec
Who Doesn’t Love Margatert?
Stream Timestamp [01:35:45]
Margaret Rosebud vs Alan -Norton standard 360 protection 12 months
Order #OD62700140650
Refund amount $259.99, but later it was $299.99; “Accidental” refund amount $15,000
Margaret: “A as in assassin?”
Transferred to John Williams. F7 strikes again! When completing the refund form on the secure server, Margaret spelled her first name, “Margatert.” Close enough, right?
John froze Margaret’s keyboard so that he could type in $15,000 as the refund but Margaret knew she didn’t type that. He couldn’t convince her that she made the mistake and not him.
Margaret: “This had nothing to do with me!”
Margaret: “This is outrageous. This is a clown show.”
Margaret freaked out when she found that her computer was completely locked.
Transferred to Ella White. Margaret told Ella that she thought John Williams did this intentionally.
Margaret: “The John is a thief! I’m being framed here! Do you understand that I’m being framed?!”
Margaret: “Why are you stressing me out?”
Margaret: “I’ve handled many keyboats in my time.”
When Margaret couldn’t be convinced that she had made the typing mistake, Ella persisted, “There was a problem with the computer keyboard. Your computer was continuously updating. Because of which, mistakenly, it took in the amount of 15,000.”
Margaret: “He’s corrupt. He’s a bad apple. He needs to be put behind the bars and locked away and thrown away the key out the window. Burn the key! Melt the key so no one can unlock.”
Margaret: “I’m not crazy! He did it!”
Margaret: “I was pressing the back button and it was typing zeros.”
Margaret: “You’re telling me that it was a mistake and I’m telling you that it was intentional!”
Margaret: “Were you recording his finger movements?”
Margaret: “I don’t know why he did it but the investigation says that he is a crook!”
Under 30 minutes into the call, Ella threatened Margaret.
Ella: “You have to first return the $15,000 or you will be behind the bars.”
Margaret: “He was sly like a fox.”
Margaret: “I need to put it on the statement. Get my John Deere letter ready. Put the statement on there that John is a fraud. He’s a bad man. He belongs behind the bars. I’m not crazy. Leave that in the record.”
Ella said that John was locked up with the authorities while the investigation proceeds.
Ella: “Can you shut up and listen to me?”
Ella: “Are you ready to go to the bank and return the money to our company? Yes or no?”
Ella told Margaret to go to the bank.
Ella booped.
Total Time Wasted: 34min 12sec
We called back. We’ve been blocked. Ella might have seen something on the computer.
We’re Here to Deliver Your Apple Airport, Ma’am
Stream Timestamp [02:21:45]
Margaret Rosebud vs Daniel Brown -Badge # 97103 & Benjamin Alpert (Alfred) Badge # SSA1500775 -Amazon Investigation Team CONTINUED
Zip code 94118
Case #4685631 – There are orders for an Apple MacBook Pro & Apple AirPods.
Refund amount $1,500
Daniel said that the Social Security Administration had forwarded this call to the Amazon Investigation Team due to fraudulent activity.
Margaret: “I didn’t authorize any order for an Apple airport.”
Rinoa: “Yeah, you just order an entire airport. ‘Yeah, I’m here to deliver your Apple airport. Where can we put the runway in for ya? Where would you like me to install that? Right through your neighbor’s house? OK. Bring in the dozer!’ Oh my gawsh.”
Daniel explained that “the US Customs and Border Protection has found and seized one parcel, which was shipped through USPS under your name. After scanning the parcel, they found cash worth $94,000 and 9 fake drivers licenses issued under your name.” Throughout the investigation they found a total of five parcels.
Margaret: “I shipped a parcel out maybe a couple months ago. About 2 or 3 months ago, I shipped a parcel with The DaVinci Code inside and Angels & Demons, Inferno, The Lost Symbol, Origin, and Digital Fortress.”
Daniel can see that there are 22 bank accounts under Margaret’s name.
Transferred to senior investigation officer from SSA Benjamin Alpert.
We’ve spoken to Ben before on Episode {315} – June 21, 2022. This was the call where Rinoa made up a callback number for the scammer to call and accidentally caused the scammer to call another scam call center. Timer after that call was 52min 57sec.
Ben told Margaret about the risk of arrest warrants, calls to the sheriff’s department, and suspending her social security. He said that she will be charged with money laundering charges and taken to jail for nine years.
He booped for no apparent reason.
Time Wasted Today: 19min 44sec
Time Wasted on Previous Call: 52min 57sec
Total Time Wasted: 1hr 12min 41sec
Mission Accomplished!
We were unable to call another scammer until we found Waldo on the new VM wallpaper. Once he was located and identified, we could continue on with calling scammers as planned.
Butt Itch and Butthurt
Stream Timestamp [02:54:20]
Margaret Rosebud vs Gary Lane (Hairy Gray /Hairy Balls / Gary Lame / Gary Balls) & James & Sierra Johnson (Dr. Johnson) -PayPal
Order #4685631
Refund amount $298.48
AnyDesk was used.
margareteggsalad@gmail.com
Margaret: “Sometimes, when I’m perusing the neighborhood, walking my imaginary dog, sometimes, I get a notification on my phone about, ‘Would you like to connect to such-and-such wifi?’ But I’ve never intentionally clicked on them or anything of that nature.”
Margaret: “Right, Mr. Balls.”
Margaret: “He’s on the computer, Mr. Balls.”
When Margaret closed the AnyDesk tab, it revealed a WebMD page discussing “causes of anal itching.” Hairy didn’t miss a beat when he saw it. So disappointing.
Transferred to James.
Margaret wanted to make sure James noticed what she was reading about while waiting on hold. “Causes of Itchy Bottom”
Margaret: “May I ask you a little bit of a personal question. Is that OK? If you have some itching going on, is there any remedy that you possibly, maybe, any way of, I’ve tried many home remedies.”
James said that he will transfer the call to someone else in the center who is very good with these kinds of questions. He said she’ll join the call soon.
Initiated Zelle transfer to a dummy account for Unia, which Rinoa was able to report to authorities.
Transferred to “Chase Bank executive,” Sierra Johnson.
Margaret: “I have a sweaty caboose, as they say.”
Got bank information to report. Might have been a second account to report.
Margaret: “This is not a dummy transaction. This is my bank account.”
Margaret refused to complete the dummy transaction because it looked too much like a real transaction.
Margaret: “Throw that in the rubbish, right there next to your attitude.”
Sierra locked Margaret’s computer after the attitude comment. Margaret thought her computer might be frozen. Sierra said that she is 39 years old and has a 10-year-old daughter. “It’s just me and my daughter.” Margaret said she has a daughter about the same age as Sierra. Later in the call, Sierra swore on her son to convince Margaret to trust her.
Sierra: “Since you said you had problems with the itching, I would suggest you avoid eating fishes nowadays.”
Margaret: “Dr. Johnson, what would you recommend? Is it because I put the hot sauce on the fish? Do you ever get the itchy butthole?”
Transferred to Gary Balls.
Margaret: “Did you know that Miss Johnson has the itchy bum right now from eating the fish?”
Margaret: ““I’m working on it, Balls! I’m working on it.”
Balls: “Our technical team will do it for you.”
Margaret: “If you had to name that lizard, what do you think his name would be? What do you think about Lenny? Or Gary? Can we call him Gary? Gary Lame would be a great name for a lizard. Right, Mr. Balls?”
Margaret: “You met with an accident? Like you peed your pants kind of accident?”
Balls: “My butt ripped off.”
Margaret: “Sir, did you just tell me that your butt got ripped off?”
Balls: “Yeah, it got damaged.”
Balls was riding the bike without a seat and his butt got hurt.
Balls: “I never did that, ma’am.”
People behind him were laughing their butts off.
Margaret: “I ride with a proper seat. I don’t hurt my bum when I ride my bicycle.”
Margaret: “How many bums were on the seat?”
Gary: “It was only my bum.”
Margaret: “Gary, you’re a strange fella. You know that?”
Gary is 28 years old. He likes to play soccer. Margaret’s favorite sport is putt-putt golf.
Margaret: “It’s a really fun game. What you do is, you act like you’ve never played the game before and you go to swing at the ball and you smack it really hard and then you let go of the club. And then you yell out, ‘Fore!’ and then you just watch the carnage.”
Margaret is a champion ear-puller! Margaret likes baseball and loves the LA Yankee Jackets and the Blue Sox. Gary Balls was born in California. Transferred back to Sierra. Password is “flatearth1.” Margaret used this password because it’s her password for everything.
Sierra: “If you have an itchy bum, that doesn’t mean that every man has to have the same bum.”
Margaret: “How was he riding the bicycle where he’s dragging his caboose on the backside of the bike”? Ask him if he’s got the worms or something, scratching his bum like a dog.”
Margaret: “You’re blinded by conspiracies if you think the world is round. You’re a slug for a brain if you think the earth is round.”
Sierra sees an opportunity to gain Margaret’s trust.
Margaret: “Did you know we’re also in a simulation and the whole world is augmented reality essentially?”
Sierra: “Absolutely correct.”
Margaret: “Absolutely correct.”
Sierra: “I still love you for that.”
Margaret: “That is really sweet of you. You don’t even know me.”
Sierra: “Still, just because we don’t know each other doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. It’s been so wonderful talking to you. You’ve been discussing such good things with me. I’ve been here to help you for certain things. We are sorting out the problem as well as having a healthy discussion. That’s what a sweet person always do.”
Margaret: “We’re the itchy bum sisters.”
Sierra: “The moment you started saying, I started feeling itching.”
Margaret: “You started feeling itchy? It’ll do that to you. As soon as you start thinking about it, it starts to get itchy down there. Next thing you know, your finger is deep in the gold mine and there’s no treasure than –”
Sierra offered several home remedies for itchy bums and other bum conditions. Sandalwood and rosewater are particularly helpful. Sierra loves singing and dancing, especially movie songs.
Margaret searched “how to make a best friend from a call center” since it seemed like Sierra had stopped the scam and was just hanging out. Sierra saw her search and thought it was very funny. She was going to send Margaret her Facebook information.
Margaret: “He calls himself, ‘Mr. Balls.’”
Sierra was born in India. Her father is from India and her mother is from America. She moved to Seattle, WA three years ago.
Sierra needed to see Margaret’s camera to verify Margaret. Margaret thought that sounded like a great idea so they could video chat and Margaret could show Sierra her rash.
Margaret: “Don’t you dare put Balls back on the phone again. I don’t like talking to that man.”
Margaret: “No, I don’t have blue teeth.”
Margaret: “That’s because of speakerphone. You just weren’t bright enough to figure it out. That’s the only difference.”
Sierra was instantly offended and tried to get Margaret to send money via PayPal.
Sierra: “Now, you cannot say like that because you are my best friend.”
Margaret: “If the money leaves my account, then I have to come down to the call center that you’re at with an oversized comedic fish and slap you in the face with it. That wouldn’t be very nice.”
Sierra proceeded with the scam anyway.
Margaret: “You sent the money! Now I have to put my shoes on and buy a really big fish.”
Margaret: “It’s an unstoppable fish slap now.”
Margaret: “You’ll understand even more when you get the flounder in the face.”
Sierra broke Margaret’s heart. Margaret was excited to spend some time with her new best friend. Now, she has to slap Sierra with a flounder.
Margaret: “You’re a criminal. You’re a thief. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. You broke my heart.”
Transferred to James.
Margaret knew immediately that she hated James, even though she didn’t know why yet.
Margaret: “I’m not gonna break my heart twice in one day. That’s too much lovin’.”
Margaret: “I’m gonna have everybody in that call center line up in a big circle. I’ll stand dead center in the middle of that circle and I’ll spin around like a clock, smacking everybody in the face.”
Margaret: “Why did you turn to a life of crime, James?”
Transferred back to Sierra, who was sobbing.
Sierra said she had a 10-year-old daughter. Later, she swore on her son.
Sierra: “Just shut up! You cannot put allegation on any innocent like that. Open the fucking account and see whether your money is there or not.”
Sierra: “I will always for my life hate you for this!”
Margaret hopes that Sierra will grow up and get a real job.
Margaret: “We had itchy butts together! Are you kidding me?!”
Margaret: “I spit in your general direction.”
Margaret said that Sierra destroyed their friendship.
Margaret: “You’re still trying to steal my money.”
Margaret: “I trusted you. I gave you my friendship and you threw it in the rubbish.”
Margaret: “You’re trash and you belong in the dustbin.”
Margaret: “I spit in your general direction and I never want to talk to you again.”
Sierra: “Wait a second. You have said enough.”
Margaret told Sierra to go ahead and say what she needed to say. Then, as soon as she started talking, we booped. Sierra called back.
Margaret: “Why do you keep calling me?”
Sierra: “I don’t know when the call hung up.”
Margaret: “When I put the receiver on the dial.”
Sierra: “But you said that you would listen to me.”
Margaret: “Like you, I lied.”
Sierra finally gave up and booped.
Total Time Wasted: 2hr 46min 24sec
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