Episode 331 Livestream Recap
{331} Tuesday, August 2, 2022 – 2 p.m. ET
New background. Who dis?
Today, Rinoa has set up her workspace in the new, impeccably-decorated, absolutely perfect BLUE study!!
It’s the Way of the Future…
Stream Timestamp [00:22:07]
Jessica Wilson vs John, the Kisser CONT
John asked about crypto, Cash App, and just about every other way to get money. He didn’t want to connect via TeamViewer again. John was, without doubt, totally confused.
John wanted to login to Jessica’s Steam account so he could take the money.
Jessica’s totally not-made-up username was something like: Slapping_my_balls_until_it_makes_my_stomach_burn@yahoo.com
And her equally-real password was twistmynipplesclockwise.
John was having trouble connecting again.
Jessica: “It’s not possible. It’s a live server. It’s a living, breathing, live server. Do you understand? It’s the way of the future, John.”
John FINALLY connected. Rinoa was able to see his contacts and other things. She even managed to get him to open his camera and was able to show us a glimpse of his selfie!
With the verification process now complete, Jessica sent him the money that he was waiting for and asked him to send the blue BMW immediately.
Total Time Wasted: 3hr 05min 04sec
John called us back many times but we didn’t answer.
Can’t You Just Shut Up?
Stream Timestamp [01:44:55]
Jessica Wilson vs Paul Wilson & Peter Martin -Norton
Refund amount $370.99
AnyDesk was used.
Bluffer St San Francisco, CA
Refund amount $377
Paul didn’t think he could help because Jessica is too talkative. He quickly lost patience as well as all hope.
MelonBuddy Translations: Your mother’s ‘private part’
WTF is she doing?
Paul: “Oh my god. Can’t you just shut up?!”
Paul: “You know how to use computer, right? So, just install it.”
Paul: “Whatever you feel like. Just give a click on any one.”
Paul didn’t want Jessica to set her own password for some reason. He sounded a little maniacal when asking her what she was doing.
Paul: “Can you see that the form is asking for some details, like every other form in the world asks for some details? You just need to provide your details, ma’am, to get your money back. Alright?”
Jessica: “When it asks for my name here, is this my name or is this asking for my username?”
Jessica: “Login to my online bank? For what reason?”
We were transferred to financial manager, Peter Martin.
Peter said that he would call us back in 5 minutes. He booped.
He had looked at emails and deleted the email. Maybe he didn’t like being rushed. He closed the bank account and might have been confused as to what to do next.
Total Time Wasted: 58min 50sec
Who Ya Gonna Call??
Stream Timestamp [02:55:10]
Jessica vs Alan Johnson (Alex) & Mark Wilson (Mr. Skidmark) the 3rd & Michael Watson & Unidentified Chase Bank Officer -McAfee
13 Bluffer St, CA 94118
Jessicawbunny13@gmail.com
Refund amount $399.99
“Accidental” refund amount $3,000
Alan was working a double-shift and was tired.
Jessica: “Your tone of voice is extremely boring. Is there any way you can spice up your tone? Is that possible? I feel like I’m going to fall asleep and my head’s going to hit the keyboard. You know what I mean?”
Jessica: “If you can’t handle the double-shift, you don’t work the double-shift. It’s as simple as that. OK?”
Jessica: “Get somebody else on the phone ‘cause you need a nap.”
Jessica: “Do you just sound boring all the time? If that’s the case, I apologize.”
We were transferred to “The Manager,” Mark Wilson (Mr. Skidmark) the 3rd. Mark had gas problems.
Jessica: “Order yourself some new underwear.”
Jessica: “Skidmark Refund Company, here.”
Jessica was very disturbed when she realized that Skidmark could likely see her computer screen with her banking information. But he assured her that he couldn’t see it even though Jessica could plainly see that someone was controlling her computer.
Jessica: “How can they operate a computer without seeing the screen? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
We were transferred to Mr. Michael Watson, senior manager.
Jessica: “Are you sitting here controlling my computer? Yes or no?”
Michael: “No.”
Jessica [overtalking]: “OK. So, you’re just telling me things are just opening automatically. Is that what you’re telling me here? They just do it automatically? It must be the ghost. I need somebody to come over here and extract the ghost from my computer. Is that what you’re telling me? It’s haunted? Need to call the Ghostbusters here? Is that what you’re telling me right now? I don’t think that’s the case. It sounds a little ridiculous. Somebody is controlling my computer!”
Jessica: “Did I told you to go on my computer and just start snooping everywhere?”
Michael: “Are you dumb or stupid, ma’am? Which one is it?”
Jessica: “I want you to stop spying on me!”
Jessica became even more suspicious when they wanted her to login to her bank account because she has never needed to do that when receiving a transfer in the past.
Jessica: “I will come to your location. I will dropkick you in the face. Do you understand what I’m trying to say here? My feet. Your teeth. They will meet. They will kiss.”
Michael: “I don’t think I’m stupid. I think you’re stupid.”
Jessica: “You’re a goofy-looking weasel right now.”
Jessica: “I don’t want the refund. Get off my computer!”
Michael connected Jessica’s computer to the live banking server.
F7 strikes again!
Michael threatened to empty Jessica’s bank accounts. She decided that she’s going to keep the extra money as payment for all the problems they’ve caused.
We were transferred to an unidentified Officer of Chase Bank, who told Jessica to open her door so she can see the officers who are there to put her behind the bars. She called their bluff. Jessica shut down her computer. They bailed & booped.
Total Time Wasted: 57min 03sec
During this phone call, John has called 25 times and texted “Are you there? Pick up my call.”
No Charge…
Stream Timestamp [04:01:30]
Jessica Wilson vs Alex William -Walmart
Order was for an iPhone ProMax
Refund amount $949
Alex says there’s no charge. Nothing to worry about. He bailed and booped.
1min 52sec
BM help??
Stream Timestamp [04:07:51]
Jessica/Margaret Rosebud vs James William, whose name mysteriously changes to Daniel for no reason whatsoever
We started the call as Jessica but changed to Margaret quickly. Scammer didn’t notice.
Margaret: “I don’t need bowel movement help. I need actual assistance here.”
James/Daniel wasn’t OK with Margaret not knowing what to click on.
He bailed & booped with no warning.
6min 50sec
We called the same number again.
Jessica vs Kevin this time
AnyDesk was used.
Kevin accused Jessica of being a YouTuber.
Total Time Wasted: 10min 08sec
Jessica read “Protect yourself from scammers” and that seemed to make them upset.
Baby Rocket…
Stream Timestamp [04:22:48]
Bob Bonefat vs Nick (Nickety Knack Patty Whack / Mr. Nack) & Sid Watson -GeekSquad
Refund amount $485.92, then $399.99 for some reason
“Accidental” refund amount $39,999
TeamViewer was used.
Bob: “Where are you running off to? Are we racing? Slow down.”
Bob: “Wait… so you can connect to my eyeballs?”
Bob: “Do you want me to moonwalk back a little? I’ve been practicing.”
Bob has a wife, Billy Jean, who takes care of all the bills. He won this computer in a raffle.
Bob: “Can you call me Mr. Bonefat?”
Nickety Knack Patty Whack: “OK. No problem, sir.”
Transferred to Sid Watson.
Bob has spoken to Sid before!!!
Quick notes from before:
{316} 6/22/22 2ET [00:39:35] Margaret vs Sid Watson & Edward Wilson & Steve William & Alex Smith -Norton Refund amount $399.99 Chase ckg $18,869.23 sv $586.88 M: “Have you been saving money in your piggy bank?” E says withdraw $14,000. Empties M’s acct when she hesitates. M gives phone to son, Bob. B: “Yeah, well, this dog’s got a nasty bite you keep on talking to me like that.” 39min 26sec
Bob’s “9” key got stuck when he was trying to enter the refund amount.
Bob: “I told you. My key got stuck, bro. I got a lot of potato chips in there.”
Sid froze Bob’s checking account and it showed $0.
Bob: “You need to get this sorted out this second. I have bills to pay, bro.”
Bob wasn’t impressed with the Work Securely screen.
Sid: “Just hold on.”
Bob: “You little weasel. You need to fix this.”
Bob called Sid a “bad business hamster!”
Bob: ”Stop touching things on my computer. Stop. Stop. Stop.”
Bob: “Do you want me to come down there right now and slap your belly? Is that what you want me to do?”
Sid started mumbling under his breath.
Sid: “I have taken all of your money right now. It’s in my pocket. Do you want to see it?”
Bob: “I don’t want to see anything in your pocket, dude.”
Sid: “You wanna see my rocket?”
Bob: “No, I don’t wanna see your tiny, little rocket. OK? Settle down.”
Dueling madarchods ensued.
Sid coughed a few times.
Bob: “That was a nice bark! I give it a 10 out of 10.”
Sid bailed and booped. We were unsuccessful in our quest to improve on the time that we had already wasted with this call center. We missed the goal by about a minute.
Time Wasted Today: 38min 23sec
Time Wasted Before: 39min 26sec
Total Time Wasted: 1hr 17min 49sec
Rinoa said she likes these newsletters, so I guess I’ll keep publishing them.
Much love to each and everyone in the Melon Patch!!
— BrowncoatGoat
You can watch this full episode on the Rinoa Poison Archive YouTube channel!
Be sure to watch this Twitch clip!!
See You Tomorrow at 2 p.m. Eastern for Livestream on Twitch!
Enter your details to subscribe to future blog posts