Episode 342 Livestream Recap
{342} Monday, August 22, 2022 – 11 a.m. ET
Congrats on 5 Million Views & 44,000 Subs on YouTube!!!
You are a Criminal and Should Be Behind the Bars…
Stream Timestamp [00:25:50]
Jessica Wilson vs John Bradford (Mr. Johnson) & Clara Wilson (Carla/Clogger/Carol/Charlie) -PayPal
TeamViewer was used.
Refund amounts $425 & $799
John Bradford answered the call.
We were transferred to Clara Wilson.
Rinoa started playing the sound of microphone feedback. Clara booped to call her back on a better line.
The speakerphone didn’t work properly due to the odor molecules from the cat’s gas. Not gonna be able to work using speakerphone.
Jessica: “It’s asking me to accept the Clean Air Act of 1952.”
Jessica likes to play online games, especially “Mother Toad Simulator: You Mother Toad.”
Jessica likes to write words on paper and then try to figure out what they mean later: baloney, nose grape, Uranus
Needed help knowing how to spell Uranus for a crossword puzzle. “I’m trying to figure out how to fit Uranus on this crossword puzzle. Can’t figure out how to get Uranus onto this crossword puzzle.”
Jessica: “If you could fly a spaceship to Uranus, how many watermelons could you fit in your anus?”
Clara helped Jessica with her very challenging and confusing crossword puzzle.
Clue: “Cat has made boom boom up the wall.” Clara couldn’t figure out the answer at first, but then said the answer was, “meow.”
Jessica: “No need to fry the braincells. You only have a couple.”
Jessica: “What’s a mother toad’s favorite thing to do?”
Jessica: “The answer is a ‘bench’ toad. The answer is to sit on a bench.”
Jessica is an impulse gambler and a kleptomaniac, shopping without receipts… “Very similar to your profession.”
The neighbors told Jessica that the people who lived there before her died in the apartment. “They got gatted with boom-boom.” The ghost in Jessica’s apartment wails, “stinky.”
Clara believes in ghosts.
Jessica: “They never found the murderer, either. They say it was the cat.”
Jessica: “If you had any way of dying, what would be your choice of how to die?”
Clara likes tennis, swimming but doesn’t like pogosticks or juggling.
Jessica’s hobbies:
1. Peanut butter
2. Being stung by a beehive
3. Racing hedgehogs, quite good at it
4. Bicycle crashes
5. Farting in an elevator full of people, try to get away with it, the goal of the game
6. Toe-shaving
7. Peeing in a pool is not as bad as somebody getting out of the pool and then peeing into the pool
8. Switching the toilet paper; if it’s over, then you switch it to under; if it’s under, then you switch it to over
9. Clogging toilets
10. Vaseline on a toilet seat, cruel but funny
Jessica’s favorite color is green. Clara’s favorite color is also green!
Jessica likes Blink 182, not Green Day. His voice is too whiny and he’s prettier than she is.
Clara: “Oh, it looks so delicious,” after looking up what an air biscuit is.
Jessica has a cat, Mr. Whiskers, and a dog that is actually an alligator that got into the swimming pool and has been living there for too long. Mr. Dog or Mr. Gator, whatever we want to call him.
Clara said that she had to block “the person” before Jessica filled out the form.
Jessica: “The cheese needs to start flying.”
Clara’s security team attempted a Zelle transfer.
MelonBuddy Translation: Let’s try to wire.
She’s gone crazy. She just keeps talking.
Jessica got bored waiting for Clara to complete the refund. She started playing online Doom to pass the time. Clara didn’t want her to, but Jessica got very involved in the game quickly.
We were transferred back to John. He said that he was working to remove Jessica’s information from the dark web.
Jessica didn’t want to stop playing Doom until she could reach a save point.
“Hackers” removed $8,900 from Jessica’s account without her noticing.
John couldn’t find “United States” in the list of countries for a Zelle transfer. Rinoa edited the HTML so that there was now an option for “United Stated of America.”
We got domestic bank information to report to the authorities!!
Jessica: “Do we want to send it in rupees or in United States dollars?”
Jessica: “How do you keep getting disconnected? It’s crazy.”
John: “Your internet connection is fluctuating.”
John attempted a Zelle transfer. John said that it was the hackers trying to do this. They already took $8,900 (The United Stated Bank of Chicago) and Jessica was worried that they would take more.
Jessica: “Could you give me a form to fill out. Clara said you would provide it. Where is my form?”
John: “The first security has been complete.”
John’s dummy transaction started to make Jessica suspicious. She searched PayPal dummy to try to figure out how to make this call more successful. John said that Jessica’s Doom account might be hacked. She wanted him to fix Doom before fixing the bank account.
Jessica: “Did you see that? He was strafing. How in the world do they do the strafing thing?”
John: “Because they are the hackers.”
John: “You have to be patience little bit, ma’am.”
Jessica figured out the key needed to strafe while playing Doom. It was a gamechanger for her!
John: “You are getting me wrong.”
Jessica: “I’m getting you wrong because you’re a mother toad.”
Jessica wanted to call her bank and see if they could figure out how to fix this but John said that they would just freeze her accounts.
All of a sudden, another $8,900 was missing out of Jessica’s bank account. “Hidden Blacklist Money” was listed as the transaction that removed that money.
Jessica: “John, you’re losing more and more money. You need to knock it off. Stop touching things. Give me back control of my computer.”
Jessica wanted John to freeze her accounts.
Jessica: “I’m gonna signin to the bank account. But if I get anything, if I can’t move my controls or if I get a black screen, I’m shuttin’ down my computer and I’m disconnecting the call and I’m calling my bank. And I’m not done. And I’m gonna call the Better Business Bureau on you.”
Jessica: “Activity obsession is what you have right now. Get it out of your mind and focus on the screen.”
John tried to explain the charges on Jessica’s account. It was “hidden from the third party side.”
Jessica wanted to call her bank but he said that he would make her understand and that he will fix it once she checks her activity.
We booped in his face for a quick intermission.
John called repeatedly while Rinoa was away from the computer. She called him back.
Jessica: “I had to get some coffee. You were stressing me out.”
Jessica: “Have you ever been shot in the eye with a rubber band?”
There was an incoming call. Jessica answered it, not sure if it was intentional or accidental.
Interrupting David Interrupts…
Stream Timestamp [03:41:55]
Jessica Wilson vs David -Norton
Refund amount $399
Jessica removed the previous scammer from the computer connection.
David was tired and getting coffee for himself.
We booped in his face because we wanted to answer an incoming call from Clara when she called back.
Total Time Wasted: 7min 15sec
Back to Besties…
Once we were back on the phone with Clara, David kept calling back. We didn’t answer. We’ll call him tomorrow.
Clara said that she wanted to play Doom with Jessica.
Clara: “We will meet up someday.”
Jessica: “And then I’ll pop you in the eyeball with a rubberband.”
Jessica and Clara became best friends.
The hackers on Jessica’s computer are from Dayton, Ohio.
Clara is from Riverside California, where they don’t ride the buffalo.
Jessica told Clara the story of Dippy, a young girl who liked to read. The raccoon jumped out of the trash. Dippy found a nice toilet seat in the trash. It was torn and needed repair. The raccoon came back because it was his toilet seat. Dippy and the raccoon shared the toilet seat and became best friends.
Moral of the story: “Don’t judge a toilet seat by its cover.”
Clara said she would get angry when people ignored her.
Jessica said she would get angry when someone stole her “damn money.”
Jessica: “Have you even read Mother Toad yet?”
Jessica accused Clara of being a thief and stealing her money. Their friendship may not survive this betrayal.
Jessica: “Why do I have text message after text message of you stealing my money? Explain yourself, bestie!”
They attempted to transfer $480.
MelonBuddy Translations: She is making me idiot. She thinks I am an idiot.
She is being so difficult.
Tell her to go there.
Show it. Tell her.
Make her transfer more money. We can steal more from her.
Get her account.
She ignored it.
I think she is a scammer.
She is very smart.
Hang her up. She made me a fool.
Pull her and show her this.
Tell her. You tell her.
Jessica: We’re risking our friendship over money because you keep stealing it.”
Jessica: “You’re a fool. A big, fat fool.”
We were transferred back to John.
Jessica: “Either you are all thieves and criminals or just she is.”
Jessica: “You are a criminal and you should be behind the bars.”
We booped so that we could call our bank since we didn’t believe what John was saying.
Total Time Wasted: 4hr 12min 12sec
Will Clara Ever Play DOOM with Jessica???
You can watch this full episode on the Rinoa Poison Archive YouTube channel!
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